Moses of the South
Honorable mention:
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much turkey at a family reunion. When I looked around the room over 20 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Originally Posted by Heftysmokes:
Maybe I should do a movie review on Apollo 13 and tell you all "that's as real as it gets" since I'm a fucking astronaut.
Senior Member
some of my favorites that i cant find right now went something like...
Today, I got back to my scooter to find that someone had stolen my side mirrors. Where were the cops? 500 yards down the street to pull me over for not having mirrors on my vehicle...
Today, I helped my son with his math homework. He got a C, and isn't talking to me anymore.
Today, at a rehearsal, a friend poked me: "My mother is in the orchestra, guess who she is!" I jokingly answer: "Erm…The fat singer?". It was. FML
Last edited by victory01; 02-11-2009 at 04:02 PM.
buttface
fmylife is great
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML
"This may be the most important moment of your life. Commit to it." - V
"You can't change the times you live in, you can only change how you choose to live in those times" - ??
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