Yesterday I got certified on the department's Segway Personal Transporters. Holy Shit...What an experence.

Imagine a fifty year old cop putting on a spiffy looking helmet and mounting one of these damned machines.

Imagine a fifty year old cop hitting the pavement twice and getting cuts and bruises on his legs, arms, and hands.

Imagine the pain a fifty year old cop feels when trying to walk around the day after.

Never again will I ride one.