TheRichLife, Santa is watching you

[Secret Santa]

I've been checking my list and had to stop to go and wipe the tears from my eyes when I got to your name, Man oh Man have you been bad. That might work for you and the family, but for Santa, that isn'r gonna fly.

I was working up my list, but I notice that I am fresh out of bags, so I don't know what to put your elephant crap in to ship it. I know for sure the one thing I have going out to you is a sizable gift certificate to Ryan's Steakhouse.

I see that you are quite the poet when it comes to cigar selection, but I think my selection of dog rockets might change your mind.

[Secret Santa]

Okay, Santa is letting the Alzheimer's get the best of him, I know that you have an affliction with Ryan's Steakhouse, and that you indeed hulu, and that you like the Hemminway brand of cigars, but for the life of me, I can't get my crystal ball to tell me anything different.

Tell me, what is your poison when it comes to a soothing drink, and what is your tastes in cigars?

I was thinking Old German for the drink, and some Backwoods for the cigar of choice. Now, be a good boy, and throw Santa a bone

SS

[TheRichLife]

Dear Santa,

I'm really easy to please...just ask my wife.

I like a medium bodied smoke, but I'm not very picky and I enjoy trying new smokes whenever possible. As far as drinks go, I'm a big fan of local beer. Whatever they brew at the North Pole, and fits in my stocking is perfect!

I have tried to be a good boy this year, but if I end up with coal, I won't be shocked!

[Secret Santa]

Dear Santa,

I'm really easy to please...just ask my wife.

I like a medium bodied smoke, but I'm not very picky and I enjoy trying new smokes whenever possible. As far as drinks go, I'm a big fan of local beer. Whatever they brew at the North Pole, and fits in my stocking is perfect!

I have tried to be a good boy this year, but if I end up with coal, I won't be shocked!

I think I am goin gto leave the wife jokes out of it

So, you like medeium bodied smokes huh...that means I am going to have to change Rudolph's diet, you see, I have been feeding him a heavy diet to prep him for his own special rockets.

As for the beer, I am not sure if Vixen's pee qualifies, but I will let you decide on this one.

Just curious, how do you feel about coffee brandy? any likes or dislikes? I found that you can make a pretty good version of a slippery nipple by mixing the breast milk from Vixen with the pee from Donner...What do you think?

Gotta go, some of the elves are starting to spread the rumor that I am into the porn again.

SS

[TheRichLife]

Just curious, how do you feel about coffee brandy? any likes or dislikes? I found that you can make a pretty good version of a slippery nipple by mixing the breast milk from Vixen with the pee from Donner...What do you think?

Sounds great. A man can never have too many slippery nipples around.

[Secret Santa]

Okay, Vixen finally got over the brown bottle flu (son of a gun is living up to the name).

Your package is flying out today.
I do have to warn you though, I was rechecking the naughty list, and your name has shown up on a couple of different occassions, and with the price of coal, I found that my choice is more than appropriate for your level of naughty.

HAHAHAHA...I mean HOHOHO.

SS

[TheRichLife]

Dear Santa,

One of your reindeer took a crap down my chimney today. Aren't those things house broken? Since apparently I have been quite the naughty boy, there's no point in holding this back any longer...

Love,
TheRichLife

[Secret Santa]

Shit, I just found out that the elves have gotten hold of my naughty list, and took it upon themselves to mail out some ...ahem...packages that were not really up to snuff

I tell ya, it wasn't me, someone must have signed on as me and sent that package to you

Don't worry, I have a very special package sitting right here waiting for the fermantation process to complete, should only have about 2 more days left before it ships.

Hope you like you stogies a little on the green side

SS

[Secret Santa]

Okay, I got the REAL package sent out today. After checking the list twice, I realized that you weren't all that bad, but I do have to warn you, you will need nose plugs to open this package...if you thought the last one was bad, you have another think coming.

tracking number
03082690000222006798

SS

[TheRichLife]

Thanks Santa!!!! I got your box of Christmas cheer today. I'm looking forward to enjoying a nice smoke and a drink from the North Pole.

Cheers,
TheRichLife

PS
I take back everything bad I said about you and Mrs Claus, but I'm still pissed at that reindeer.

[Secret Santa]

I am glad the package got there okay, I did forget to put a note in there, the bottle is homemade Kahlua(sp), you should let it sit for a few more days before popping the cork.

I don't blame you for the animosity towards the helpers, but, don't worry, they will get their coal the hard way....talk about taking your lumps

Enjoy the smokes.

SS