Official Secret Santa Thread 2011

**mrtr33** · 11-14-2011, 01:43 PM

Ok, everyone has been notified. You can now login to the Secret Santa account and find out what you're recipient would like. Please start a new thread for each request, and only post in this thread if you have a question about Secret Santa.

Let the rumpus begin!

**buzz** · 11-17-2011, 01:03 PM

Roger...Sanat needs a few words

Santa has you on his naughty list. The elves will be Packaging you some mad dog and a few Phillie blunts.I Will be keeping a eye on you from now to Christmas.If I can get your name removed from the naughty list what would you like for Santa to bring!!!!

Your on the naughty list. Ive gotten more complaints about you in the past month than anyone else for the entire year!!!! The elves here just refer to you as "the jerk". I'm sure this is no surprise to you but what will be a surprise is the size of the lump of coal I'm gonna stuff in your sock. Now it would be an absolute miracle, but let's just say you are actually able to turn things around in the next couple weeks and make my nice list --no wait, not the nice list, maybe the "naughty, but not too bad" list. If that were to happen I might be willing to include a dried out cigar or two with that lump of coal. I may even leave you a halfdrunk bottle of your favorite beverage assuming the reindeer don't dirnk it all. So just for fun, what sorta cigars would you enjoy, and liquid refreshment? The elves want me to get your hopes up and then crush your dreams. Their mean little guys thats for sure!!

So buzzy Boy what is on your wish list this year?

No your not getting a Donkie to ride or a smaller hat.

What's with Santa this year? I think he got into the eggnog a little early...

**badwhale** · 11-17-2011, 02:00 PM

Eggnog? You mean Mad Dog 20/20.

**mrtr33** · 12-09-2011, 11:00 AM

Well, that went quick.

This is a reminder to anyone who hasn't sent out their package yet that the deadline is Monday to mail it out. I've received confirmation from almost everyone, so I'm only talking to a few of the Santas. I'll also PM you. I don't doubt for a minute that it's in transition or you've got things covered - I just hadn't heard one way or another if the package had been shipped yet.

Thanks to everyone for making this fun. Ya'll made this easy for me. I had fun reading over the exchanges and am looking forward to playing next year.

**Secret Santa** · 12-20-2011, 05:44 PM

Ho Ho Ho
It looks like my work here at cigarsmokers is almost done, just one package left to be acknowledged. That particular member is,
I'm sure, a little pre-occupied at the moment and will let us know how heavy his lump of coal was when he returns. Now that I'm
relaxing a little in preparation for my real duties to all the deserving little boys and girls of the world, I offer this to you
fine, um, gentlemen, ya,gentlemen that's it.

I'm always amazed,
yes thoroughly shocked,
at all of the smokers
lined up with their socks
just waiting and waiting
for Me to arrive
to fill their wishes
and their hopes to revive.

I saw big bad Kevin
all wrapped in his snuggy
dreaming dreams by the fire;
Is that whip for a buggy?
Or is it held in his big hand
in case an asshat
wanders into this land.

In the corner sits Roger
a pipe in his hand,
writing sermons of joy
on a little scratch pad.
Every once in awhile
he sketches some lines
a new ashtray
a fantastic design.

I couldn't find Roham
but I did find his tree;
he's off somewhere else
other wonders to see.
Enjoying his time with his
soon to be bride, so
I left a big box right there
at tree side.

I saw ashauler
a thesaurus in hand
trying to find words
that wouldn't be banned.
He smiled widely and
invited me in
he said he had a contest
and I just might win.

In the desert sat buzz
with a vacation planner
schedules and charts
and forms of all manner.
A vacation he's thinkin'
is just what he needs
before he begins
the next mega-review deed.

Under the floor-boards
I found mangyrat,
A bottle of bourbon on
his head like a hat.
The fumes were quite thick
as He reached for his lighter;
I hollered and said,
"Dude, I'm no firefighter."

I swung by the big easy
and what did I see?
Alciabiates was there
stuck in a tree.
All covered in beads and other
fine decorations,
Searching and searching
for more libations.

Mizicke came next
as I went down the list.
He didn't ask me for much
what a refreshing twist.
He is kinda quiet
and all unassuming;
Unless on a quad
his fat ass is zooming.

I then zoomed to Montana
all bright eyed and smiling
for my pal heftysmokes
I knew would be styling.
When I slid down his chimney
he was caught by surprise
If I said anymore he'd
just call them lies.

Next on the list
was a member named Paddy.
When vixen heard that
she hollered out daddy.
Not gonna ask her
Don't wanna know 'cuz
now she is screaming
CABRITO.

Prophetic_joe somehow
made my list
I just can't believe
this diabolical twist.
He's been around for
a very long while,
but I knew very little
about his style.

bigbill1300 was new
to my list, but I
gave him a package to
provide him bliss.
I think that he liked it,
but I'm guessin' you see
it was quite a dance
or did he just have to pee.

Last on my list on the
long journey home
was a freaky civil servant
who calls Canada home.
Vancouver Mark was snug in
his bed so I just
bounced this package
right off his pointy head.

Merry Christmas one and all!!
I'll see you next year