Santa wow you got pretty fat since I last saw you. I've been way better than "good" this year -- in fact, many would say that I've been "amazing". Now, you know that I don't like to brag about how awesome I am, but let's just say that you could send me a Ferrari and it would still not suffice to account for the pure excellence I've been emanating all year long.

Seems like a good time to drop this:

So anyway I finally weaned myself off the swishers and have moved into more of the medium-full varieties from brands containing the letters C, J, T, and my favorite letter, "Padron". But as you know I am adventurous and enjoy trying new things -- provided "trying" means "smoking" and "new things" means "cigars I haven't smoked before".

If you're unable to cram the Ferrari down the chimney I would not hate you if you included a local brew from the north pole or wherever it is that you are squating right now to steal wifi. I dig IPAs, porters, and stouts. Or, if you'd rather not risk soggy cigars, I would love to try some more of those delicious treats Mrs. Claus made last year. I don't know what they're called but they contained sugar, sugar, sugar, and sugar.

Thanks Santa! Now go find a treadmill...