drewnotsogoodgoring

[drew_goring]

Just so you know, I am flying 600 miles home this Saturday morning.

Not to worry though, I am leaving my key with somebody staying here over the holidays, and they will throw the package into my cooler when it comes. So I won't know for sure that it has been delivered until probably Jan. 7.

[Secret Santa]

I tol' those little bastards you were leavin' town. They said they'd have it there in time. They said the Canadian post is quite possibly the most efficient in the world. Of course, they said all this at the Christmas party, which we have early for obvious reasons and there was lotsa eggnog and who fuckin' knows what all. I said that ain't my fuckin' experience with the Canadian post - that letters to Santa from kids in Canada, although much closer than the US, I don't get till fuckin' March every year and they'd damn well be takin' your shit themselves for a handgoddamn delivery and they said ok Santa whatever you say and then we all had more eggnog, which was by that time mostly nog. Well, next week I ast'em and they said, with a faraway look in their beady little bloodshot eyes, that of course they'd taken a couple'a reign deer with the two-seater and hand-delivered your shit. 2 minutes later, I see the 2-seater fulla shit that was all marked CA, goin' out to who the hell knows where. So, it's a good thing you got someone watchin' for your mail because there is, by now, a chance it may not make it before the 15th. Me, I still got my fingers crossed. And, the elves, they're denyin' everything.

[drew_goring]

Well damn Santa. An amazing selection of sticks and some tasty treats to boot...you really weren't kidding about them being addictive...