SOTU drinking game....

[bigpoppapuff]

The general rules of this game are no different from any other drinking game. A drink is either a shot or a good gulp from a beer (or cider). Different events call for different numbers of drinks and all you do is watch the speech and play along. If all goes well, you'll be unconscious by the time they show the other party's response.

GAME TIME
This year, President Bush's State of the Union address is scheduled for Tuesday, January 23, 2007 at 9pm (Eastern). It should be broadcast on all major networks and cable news/political networks.
For online coverage, go to http://www.c-span.org/executive/stateoftheunion.asp.

EVENT
# of Drinks

Every time he says....

“The state of our union is strong…” (or some version of this)
1
+1 if he breaks down in tears

"the American people" 1
troops
small 1

surge quick 1
Iraq 1
Baghdad 1
"sectarian violence" 1 Car Bomb
recipe
Iran
1

terror (however it’s pronounced)
small 1

detainees
1, with your hands behind your back

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad 2 (+1 if he pronounces it correctly)
Saddam Hussein or Saddam
1

elections 1 if referring to another country's
2 if referring to the 2006 midterms
freedom 1
Homeland 1 if followed by "Security"; 2 if another context
"Bring it on" Arm-wrestle the person next to you; loser drinks
“nukular”
1

bipartisan or bipartisanship
2 (+1 if followed by giggle or chuckle)

"addicted to oil"
shot of extra-virgin olive oil

Medicare or Medicaid wait a really long time to get a drink you really need
education 1 (+1 if mispronounced)
"human-animal hybrid" What do centaurs and mermaids drink, anyway??
"illegal immigration" 1 shot of cerveza/tequila
God (or any euphemism for God)
2

sacrifice 1 - in the context of the armed forces
2 - for civilians
"fiscal discipline" or "smaller government" or "responsible government" if you're a:

congressman/lobbyist: Cristal, laugh derisively

private/other public sector employee: Andre, look glum

"tax burden" 1

hydrogen shout "Oh, the humanity!", take 1 shot

ethanol*
* With all of the ethanol "serious players" of this game will consume, they will be their own alternative energy source by about 10pm. We think you can figure this one out...

evil or evildoers 2
Ban Ki Moon shot of kimchi-infused vodka
Mark Foley one shot of Scotch, aged 16 years
"macaca" Invite George Allen for a drink - he doesn't have anything better to do...
"Don't mess with Texas!"
Locate the nearest Texan; mess with him/her; then drink

Every time he....

praises a Democrat by name
1

....if that Democrat is not Joe Lieberman 3
uses a Bushism (i.e. says something that's not really a word, other than “nukular”) 1
references a mistake he/his administration has made pinch yourself, take shot to ease the confusion and disbelief
announces a new initiative 1
Every time the camera shows....

the First Lady
1

your congressman/woman
1
and pat yourself on the back for being able to identify your congressman/woman

John Kerry Pour yourself a shot and drink it, unless, because of your lack of education, you "might get stuck in [the bottle]"
Barack Obama 1, with hopeful audacity
Ted Kennedy drink until your liver cries
a close-up on Nancy Pelosi (without the president in the shot) 1 shot, taken without moving any facial muscles
+1 if surrounded by children

Nancy Pelosi and Dick Cheney...and only one is applauding
+1 if it looks like they're kicking each other under the desk 1

Tom Tancredo, announced presidential candidate 10 pesos-worth of tequila, yell something in Spanish
a "special guest" who is introduced by the President 1

a "special guest" who is a member of the armed forces 1
a standing ovation from HALF of Congress
1

Other

if the speech is under an hour
Finish your drink and have another beer

DEMOCRATIC RESPONSE BONUS GAME

any reference to the 2006 midterm elections
1

if you’ve never heard of the Democrat delivering the response
1

any mention of how the Dems hope to ride roughshod over President Bush 1

if he starts laughing uncontrollably Dems: join in the laughter
GOP: sob, reservedly
Both: 2 shots
Greens & Independents: Still no drink for you!

if he references his military service and/or pulls off his shirt and starts flexing grunt, drink, smash beer can on forehead

[Lopaka]

Shot...follow this and you'll be waisted in the first 5 min!

[Lopaka]

Actually after rereading it I think you wrote half the SOTU!

[slcraiders]

There should have been a game where you took a drink for every 10 blinks made by the speaker of the house (Pelosi?). Alot of people would have died of alcohol poisoning with that game. That woman is a blinking machine. I could not concentrate on the Prez or his address with her going off like Christmas tree lights right behind him. I could tell she had something stuck in her throat or a terrible itch for the first half of the speech. Anyone else notice that she looked like she wanted to crawl in a corner and die holding in that hairball or whatever it was? I felt totally sorry for her. I have been in meetings and what not where I have gotten that horrible itch in the back of my throat and did not want to go into a coughing spat, holding it in the whole time, while tears almost form in the eyes.

[chefchris]

here's a tip: next time your throat itches, stick your finger slightly in your ear and wiggle. the itch will go away.

[heftysmokes]

I can't even watch the SOTUA anymore...why in the hell can't they let the President complete more than one sentence without a fricking ovation?

[SmokinDVM]

Bunch of damn puppets anyways. Nothing he said deserved any applause at all, especially since we all know he can't open his mouth without spewing out lies.
Interesting that he didn't mention anything about the Katrina recovery debacle.

[WOXOF]

There should have been a game where you took a drink for every 10 blinks made by the speaker of the house (Pelosi?).

LMAO. I got tickled at my wife when she asked why Laura Bush looked different. She thought Pelosi was the First Lady. Oh well, obviously I didn't marry her for her knowledge of politics.

I watched some of the address. Maybe I should have tried the drinking game.

[jiaguy]

not sure youi can humanly survive that drinking game

[SmokinDVM]

If you have to listen to that idiot talk to play the game, who wants to survive it?