I usually try to put some twist on their call to give them a hard time.


Hello, we're selling light bulbs to raise money for....

Please (sob), oh my god (sob), I can't believe this...

Sir?

You sell light bulbs?

Yes sir, we're raising money for..

Please stop, for the love of god, please!

Excuse me?

You have wonderful timing. I just got back from the optometrist and he confirmed I have cornea cancer and I'm going to lose both eyes. SO WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD I NEED LIGHT BULBS WHEN IM GOING FUCKING BLIND!!!!

....click...


Betcha she remembers that call for a long time.

I have other riffs, based on what their selling. I love telling anyone selling me home improvements about my pending divorce (it's a big lie), and what that bitch has put me through, and SHE'S getting the GOD DAMNED house so call HER not ME!!!

Hee hee, I love it.