Christmas Writing Contest

[ashauler]

It is time for the 3rd annual Christmas Writing contest. We have lots of new and creative members this year, so I expect to see lots of submissions.

Here are the rules:
1. Contest begins today.
2. Open to members in good standing with a minimum of 25 posts as of today. If you don't know if you're in good standing or not, enter anyway, someone will let you know if you don't qualify.
3. You can submit as many entries as you want. Entries are to be posted in this thread.
4. Entry can be in the form of a poem, song, haiku, limerick, or just a short story, and can be serious or humorous.
5. Deadlines are CST, I don't want to have to add and subtract
6. Entry must be themed around cigarsmokers.com and Christmas.
7. Winners will be chosen by Poll of the membership, all members in good standing are allowed to vote.
8. As the host, I won't be playing.

Deadline to post your entry = Midnight CST, Friday, December 25, 2009
Poll starts on Monday, December 28, 2009 and runs through Monday, January 4, 2009

The prize will be a selection of sticks from my cooler. I'm sure you won't be disappointed.

[buzz]

Great idea for a contest - I am now going to spend the next couple work days figuring out words that rhyme with "nozzle"...

-Buzz

[EGQ]

Clip, torch a cigar
Enjoy the spirit of the days
Brothers of the leaf

Next up is a limmerick that will start with "There once was a man from Wichita..."

[ashauler]

Clip, torch a cigar
Enjoy the spirit of the days
Brothers of the leaf

Next up is a limmerick that will start with "There once was a man from Wichita..."

Ya just have to keep in mind who is sending the prize if it wins.

[EGQ]

There once was a man from Wichita
When he gazed upon his humidor, he liked what he saw
And he said with a grin
As he lit a Don Pepin
"Happy holidays to all, especially those in the practice of law"

[Shelby07]

The new year was coming, their mission was clear
those lexicon folks searched for word of the year
the people at Oxford looked high and looked low
for a word that was unknown just one year ago

they searched all the forums, ideas unfurled
as they struggled to reshape the speech of the world
"Muggle," "blamestorming," "threequel" and "grrrl"
the words flowed like water, each a winner, a pearl!

yet the collections of scholars just couldn't agree
is the term a "screenager" or a "mini-me"
As they struggled and fought it became very clear
a consensus was lacking for word of the year.

They fought into the night and throughout the next day
but their discord was fierce, for there'd be hell to pay
if they didn't live up to their laurels so high
they could kiss their achievements and honors goodbye

Days, then weeks passed as their battles went on
until finally the next to the last had withdrawn
so consensus had come, the announcement was made
that the end had come, finally, to this epic crusade

All the cameras were running, the world was abuzz
as the scholars announced what the special word was
"It's a word found on Facebook! It's the best!" they'd contend
"The Word Of The Year..." then a drum roll... "UNFRIEND!"

After all of their work and despite all their plume
a silence descended among those in the room
for the word they sought after should have been crystal clear
We all know "douchenozzle" is word of the year!


Merry Christmas!!!

(the rules say it had to have a Christmas theme.)

[buzz]

Clip, torch a cigar
Enjoy the spirit of the days
Brothers of the leaf

I think you have 8 syllables in the 2nd line - Haikus are tough, it would be easier if they were in a 15-20-15 syllable format.

-Buzz (aka the Haiku police)

[buzz]

Ok, I spent all night last night coming up with this one. Sorry Kevin, I had to use you because you and Mark are the only ones I have done a deal with, and "Mark" only has one syllable...

[clearing throat]

You know Basil, and Corvin, and Roham, and Hefty...
Badwhale, and Roger, and Rugby, and Cinda...
but do you recall...
the most famous cigarsmoker of all?

Kevin the crazy smoker (smoker),
has over a thousand posts (wow that's a lot).
most of which are completely usable (usable),
for punchlines to awesome jokes (like the knock-knock ones).

All of the asshat users (users),
seem to atract his witty slang (like "princess").
They never seem to learn that (learn that),
dumb posts receive more shame (stop crying babies).

Then one day Santa appeared,
brought up some posts and swoosh (uh oh Santa)!
Kevin took notice and he replied,
"thats some funny shit there santadouche".

All of the CS members (members),
smiled, grinned and laughed with glee (hee hee).
They'll always appreciate Kevin (Kevin),
and his hilarious commentary (and he's the nice one)!

Thanks for the contest!
-Buzz

[EGQ]

I think you have 8 syllables in the 2nd line - Haikus are tough, it would be easier if they were in a 15-20-15 syllable format.

-Buzz (aka the Haiku police)

[buzz]

Haha, sorry EGQ - I just have that annoying obsessive compulsive syllable-counting disorder.

Here is a haiku I came up reminding me of the other night - sitting outside with my wife, nice and cold but we had the fire pit going - beautiful clear night... perfect.

Winter cigar smoke
Rises slowly to the stars
Leaving us behind

[Buzz quickly counts his syllables... thinks he is good]

-Buzz

[Fuma787]

Something I wrote while at work...

We all share a love for cigarros
I love them more than pizza from Sbarros
We enjoy Padrons, Padillas and Patels
Some of us must like flavor infused cigars ‘cause Drew sells
Stogies with coffee, scotch or beer
Only two hundred cigars in my humi, better stock up, I fear
Smoking while you read, watch or listen
Sitting in the cold and feeling your bones stiffen
With your partner, with a friend or via the net
Smoking together beats smoking alone? You bet!
Love the hilarity I find on cigarsmokers.com
Christmas this year is gonna be the bomb!

Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas to all the board members