Christmas Writing Contest

[ashauler]

Clip, torch a cigar
Enjoy the spirit of the days
Brothers of the leaf

Next up is a limmerick that will start with "There once was a man from Wichita..."

Ya just have to keep in mind who is sending the prize if it wins.

[EGQ]

There once was a man from Wichita
When he gazed upon his humidor, he liked what he saw
And he said with a grin
As he lit a Don Pepin
"Happy holidays to all, especially those in the practice of law"

[Shelby07]

The new year was coming, their mission was clear
those lexicon folks searched for word of the year
the people at Oxford looked high and looked low
for a word that was unknown just one year ago

they searched all the forums, ideas unfurled
as they struggled to reshape the speech of the world
"Muggle," "blamestorming," "threequel" and "grrrl"
the words flowed like water, each a winner, a pearl!

yet the collections of scholars just couldn't agree
is the term a "screenager" or a "mini-me"
As they struggled and fought it became very clear
a consensus was lacking for word of the year.

They fought into the night and throughout the next day
but their discord was fierce, for there'd be hell to pay
if they didn't live up to their laurels so high
they could kiss their achievements and honors goodbye

Days, then weeks passed as their battles went on
until finally the next to the last had withdrawn
so consensus had come, the announcement was made
that the end had come, finally, to this epic crusade

All the cameras were running, the world was abuzz
as the scholars announced what the special word was
"It's a word found on Facebook! It's the best!" they'd contend
"The Word Of The Year..." then a drum roll... "UNFRIEND!"

After all of their work and despite all their plume
a silence descended among those in the room
for the word they sought after should have been crystal clear
We all know "douchenozzle" is word of the year!


Merry Christmas!!!

(the rules say it had to have a Christmas theme.)

[mail man]

Dam Shelby, I can't compete with that. All of my writing will sound like a new born baby's babbling compared to your penmanship.
Thanks alot for ruining my chances



Keith

[ndv21]

Christmas is known as a holiday for all
Where kids young and old will be having a ball
Mothers and fathers use credit cards with might
Just to see their bill, their faces read fright.

What would the wife like? A husband might ask
“I think at her age, she might need a mask!”
Tempted but careful, he buys her perfume,
The scent of sweet flowers ready to bloom.

“My husband has all the toys that he wants!”
I’ll go with the traditional set of work pants!
More tools for the garage, I know he would like
Or maybe an accessory for his motor bike.

Dad is retired and is always hard to read
What he would like, I don’t know indeed
A tv, vacation, or fishing gear set?
A father-son hunting trip he’ll never forget!

Who can forget Mother who’s always be there
Tender and loving with so much sweet care
I know what she’ll say “Please don’t get me a present,
Just having you home makes my life pleasant”

So family is taken care of, what a great relief
Now I can focus on the commander in Chief!
Not Obama, no, he’s not on my list
A gift for myself, something with a twist

I’ve been getting my presents throughout the year
Manful desires of all types of gear
From dive trips, to guns, to fine cigars
They all make good stories when I’m out at the bars

I have a hard time thinking what should I get
I’d hate buying something that later I would regret
Money is tight so it can’t be expensive
Thinking of this makes me apprehensive

I’ve always enjoyed a good bottle of whisky
(so does my wife cause she knows I get frisky)
But drinking alone is not so much fun
Especially when your buddies, only drink rum

I guess I have realized I have all I need
Family, health, and the will to succeed
But there is one thing, that I will ask for
Please bring our troops back from this ugly war!

So cheer up my friends and raise you glasses!
A toast to all, good friends and badasses!
Let’s have a ball like those days at the prom
A Merry Christmas to all at cigarsmokers.com!

[ashauler]

Good stuff coming in, looks to be a good competition.

[badwhale]

I was at the bar, Christmas eve. The crowd was kind of thin being the eve of a major holiday. I ordered up another shot of Wild Turkey, and the barmaid just gave me a look that said “don’t you have somewhere to be besides here?” I ignored her. I looked at the shot, its amber color and I actually did wonder if there was somewhere I should be. I took the shot & outted my Padron in the ashtray.

It was getting close to closing, and I threw on my jacket and headed out. I walked down the street towards my apartment. The evening was crisp and there was no breeze. I looked at the colorful holiday ornaments adorning the street lamps & glanced at Christmas trees perched prominently in people’s houses as only a few cars made their way down the street. The red glow of the taillights matching a tinsel santa clause hanging lopsided on a mailbox.

A dusting of snow had fallen on the ground during my time inside at the Major Purpose. I thought it was fitting, and the sky above had cleared out to a moonless night. When I got home, all the lights were off. I unlocked the door quietly, trying not to disturb the other tenants whose children I’m sure were sleeping with the proverbial sugar plums dancing. I went to the fridge. A couple of stainless pots with mac-n-cheese cluttered a mostly beverage filled appliance. I reached in and pulled out a bottle of Porter and made my way to the stereo. I slipped on the headphones and drifted off to David Bowie’s “Major Tom”

I dreamed of earlier days. I dreamed of people I’ve met, come and gone through my life. I dreamed of women I met and never had the salt to ask out on a date. I dreamed of my family that seemed so distant. I dreamed of things I’d wished to do, and never got around to between work & other obligations.

The next morning, I woke up. Amazingly I had no hangover. The draft of Porter sat empty next to my hand and the CD had long stopped spinning. The sun shone bright through the window on my face. Somehow I made it to the couch in the living room. I realized our Christmas tree and groggily looked at its beauty with ornaments & lights all lit. Then I heard a stirring coming from upstairs. I heard a tiny voice babbling. I realized I was in my home, with my family. I heard mommy getting Val ready to come downstairs & see what Santa brought. I remembered that there was much to prepare for Christmas dinner, where both families would visit & eat & drink and be merry.

Throughout the day, we cooked & prepared & played. Later, when the events of the day died down, I went to the basement & realized that there was another extended family waiting to share & commiserate on the holiday events they experienced. I lit up an Anejo & logged on chat.

Merry Christmas BOTL & SOTLs!
Will
ps. Thanks for the contest, Jamie...Merry Christmas