Christmas Writing Contest

[bigwhiteash]

bigwhiteash is here
he will smoke all your cigars
no White Owls, Santa

[ashauler]

Got some good stuff here......let's get some more entries.

[buzz]

Here is my shot at a short story...

Driving home. The snowbirds are in full bloom and no one seems interested in being courteous to you as you try to become a part of the flow. You watch as they drive by; ignoring you, pretending they don't see you. A minivan passes. The DVD player hanging from the driver's seat displays an animated rat cooking some soup. A present-filled SUV driven by a cell phone nearly takes out a bicyclist. You sigh, and turn the radio on. Commercial, you change the station. Some politician is lying; you turn the radio off. Another minivan passes and there is just enough room to squeeze into the traffic - you're on your way home.

The year is nearly over; it was a tough year. A bad year. Your company had to lay someone off; a friend. A good friend. Your salary was cut; a lot. A whole lot. You bought your wife a present but you wish it could have been something else. That other thing that she really would have liked, but it was expensive and she would have made you take it back. She is a good wife; a great wife. A wonderful wife.

At the red light you see two people arguing outside Walgreen’s. The bell-ringer keeps ringing, attempting to drown out the argument no doubt. The light turns green, but then right back to red. An ambulance rushes past, lights flashing and siren wailing. Heading East, fast. The argument is over now; the man appears to have won.

You pull into your driveway and smile. Hogan is standing at the gate wagging his tail. Your wife is making green bean casserole. You give her a kiss. The mail on the counter says that the gas bill is due, but it also says Merry Christmas from a friend. You go throw the ball for Hogan; he brings it back to you.

The casserole was great, she added spicy somehow. You talked about the coming weekend plans, and the mortgage payment. You head out to the shop to fix a lamp and Hogan comes along to help. You grab a RP from the humidor on the way out. 15 minutes later the lamp is fixed. You brush the leaves from the Adirondack chair next to your fire pit and have a seat. You wonder what the other members of CS are doing tonight. As you stare up at the clear night sky the silence is broken by Billie Holiday. She is singing "All the way". Your wife must have put it on. The sliding glass door opens and she brings you a couple fingers of scotch. “Did you fix the lamp?” “You know it, babycakes.” Blanket in hand, and a book about angels; she snuggles into the chair next to you and sighs. You sigh too. You have a good wife, a great wife. A wonderful wife.

The smoke drifts to the fire pit, where it is caught up and catapulted away. It takes your worries with it.

-Buzz

[ericdriscoll]

Nice one Buzz.

[CoventryCat86]

Nice one Buzz.

[buzz]

Haha... I was thinking the same thing!

In my mind though, the dog was brown...

-Buzz

[mrtr33]

In my mind though, the dog was brown...

In my mind, the dog was Fark-colored.

[ashauler]

1 week left.........

[ashauler]

Fark what will you choose to smo-oke,
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark.
Are we kidding or are we serious,
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark.

Are you waiting for bluesmudge to tell you
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark.
To the newblets rescue he’ll come
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark.


The path was right in front of you,
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark.
But some shit stuck to your shoe
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark.

Now you’re just the source of laughter
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark.
While ibarney takes his meds and rests,
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark.

Fast away the old year passes,
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark..
Hail the new, ye farkwads and asshats
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark..


Here we sing now, all in one voice,
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark..
You could have just shut up and made a choice
Fark la Fark, la Fark, la Fark, Fark. Fark.