Cigar things that annoy you

**MMAB** · 09-03-2005, 04:38 PM

Howard Fine & Howard

**Corona Gigante** · 09-03-2005, 05:29 PM

I use the respected firm of Sue, Grabbit, & Runne.

**Island Epicurean** · 09-03-2005, 05:47 PM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

I use the respected firm of Sue, Grabbit, & Runne.

I Prefer "Luvum & Burnum, Family Law"

Of Course there is always, "Dewwe, Cheatum & Runn."

Oh yeah, How Many Lawyer Jokes are there? 3, The Rest of em' are true.

**ggiese** · 09-03-2005, 06:03 PM

Or the famous (or infamous) -

Hungadunga, Hungadunga & Mc Cormick...

...and - as a special offer to board members... a pack of smokes to the person who can tell me who said that where...

Hint: "You've left out a Hungadunga! You've left out the main one, too. Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you, eh? All right, leave it out and put in a windshield wiper instead. I tell you what you do, Jamison. I tell you what. Make it, uh, make it three windshield wipers and one Hungadunga. They won't all be there when the letter arrives, anyhow. "

**Neuromancer** · 09-03-2005, 10:13 PM

Originally Posted by ggiese

Or the famous (or infamous) -

Hungadunga, Hungadunga & Mc Cormick...

...and - as a special offer to board members... a pack of smokes to the person who can tell me who said that where...

Hint: "You've left out a Hungadunga! You've left out the main one, too. Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you, eh? All right, leave it out and put in a windshield wiper instead. I tell you what you do, Jamison. I tell you what. Make it, uh, make it three windshield wipers and one Hungadunga. They won't all be there when the letter arrives, anyhow. "

Groucho, in "A Night In Casablanca"...

**Neuromancer** · 09-03-2005, 10:30 PM

Originally Posted by Neuromancer

Groucho, in "A Night In Casablanca"...

But then I might be wrong...unless...he used that line in two different movies...and knowing Groucho that could be extremely likely...but then I don't know Groucho...so if you know Groucho you can tell me if he'd do that...but then of course, you'd have to know Groucho...so do you know Groucho? You would certainly tell me if you knew Groucho, wouldn't you? So then I would know that you knew Groucho...I sure don't know him but would have loved to...

**Neuromancer** · 09-03-2005, 10:33 PM

Hmmmm...off with his head (^)...he's guilty of Groucho-padding...but then Groucho was quilty of Groucho-padding...but that wasn't Groucho that said that was it? It was the Red Queen in "Alice In Wonderland." Wasn't it? Or was the Red Queen the one that said, "balls, if I had them I'd be King!"

**Corona Gigante** · 09-03-2005, 10:34 PM

Dude,

Take it easy on the absinthe.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0020640/quotes

**ggiese** · 09-04-2005, 12:29 AM

Originally Posted by Neuromancer

Groucho, in "A Night In Casablanca"...

SO CLOSE, but yet so far... Keep going...

bigpoppapuff · 09-03-2005, 06:06 PM

a guy walks into a bar and yells "all lawyers are assholes"...
.....guy at the end of the bar says "i'm offended by that"
first guy says "why,are you a lawyer?"
second guy says " no!!..i'm an asshole!!"......

riiiiiimmmmmmsssssshhhhot!!!!!!.....

**basil** · 09-03-2005, 10:32 PM

Originally Posted by bigpoppapuff

a guy walks into a bar and yells "all lawyers are assholes"...
.....guy at the end of the bar says "i'm offended by that"
first guy says "why,are you a lawyer?"
second guy says " no!!..i'm an asshole!!"......

riiiiiimmmmmmsssssshhhhot!!!!!!.....

Is this a lawyer joke or an asshole joke?

**Corona Gigante** · 09-03-2005, 09:09 PM

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

**Neuromancer** · 09-03-2005, 10:19 PM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

Sorry, CG, but GG asked who said it and where? You got the movie wrong...but then you always get the movie wrong...if it was the right movie I'd know it...then you'd know it...and if I knew it I'd tell you so you'd know it, but then we'd both be wrong...but then maybe I'd just be wrong...so if you say the "secret woid" the duck will give you a cigar...

**Bkcloud114** · 09-03-2005, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

The abomidable snowman from Bugs Bunny.. Sound bite

I don't remember any sneakers but they could have been GREEN

**ggiese** · 09-04-2005, 12:32 AM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

DING-DING-DING-DING We have a winnah....

I might as well box up my humidor and send it off to CG...

They'll be in the mail next week!

**ggiese** · 09-04-2005, 01:03 AM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

Why, that would be Hugo the Abominable Snowman, and he's red with WHITE tennis shoes....