Cigar things that annoy you

bigpoppapuff · 09-03-2005, 06:06 PM

a guy walks into a bar and yells "all lawyers are assholes"...
.....guy at the end of the bar says "i'm offended by that"
first guy says "why,are you a lawyer?"
second guy says " no!!..i'm an asshole!!"......

riiiiiimmmmmmsssssshhhhot!!!!!!.....

**basil** · 09-03-2005, 10:32 PM

Originally Posted by bigpoppapuff

a guy walks into a bar and yells "all lawyers are assholes"...
.....guy at the end of the bar says "i'm offended by that"
first guy says "why,are you a lawyer?"
second guy says " no!!..i'm an asshole!!"......

riiiiiimmmmmmsssssshhhhot!!!!!!.....

Is this a lawyer joke or an asshole joke?

**Corona Gigante** · 09-03-2005, 09:09 PM

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

**Neuromancer** · 09-03-2005, 10:19 PM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

Sorry, CG, but GG asked who said it and where? You got the movie wrong...but then you always get the movie wrong...if it was the right movie I'd know it...then you'd know it...and if I knew it I'd tell you so you'd know it, but then we'd both be wrong...but then maybe I'd just be wrong...so if you say the "secret woid" the duck will give you a cigar...

**Bkcloud114** · 09-03-2005, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

The abomidable snowman from Bugs Bunny.. Sound bite

I don't remember any sneakers but they could have been GREEN

**ggiese** · 09-04-2005, 12:32 AM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

DING-DING-DING-DING We have a winnah....

I might as well box up my humidor and send it off to CG...

They'll be in the mail next week!

**ggiese** · 09-04-2005, 01:03 AM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

Why, that would be Hugo the Abominable Snowman, and he's red with WHITE tennis shoes....

**Neuromancer** · 09-04-2005, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by ggiese

Why, that would be Hugo the Abominable Snowman, and he's red with WHITE tennis shoes....

Hey...this is too funny...GG sends them to CG...who then sends them back to GG...

**Corona Gigante** · 09-04-2005, 08:11 AM

This is a little awkward.

ggiese's answer is more complete, the abominable snowman's name is indeed Hugo and his tennis shoes are white--at least on all the stills I've found on the net--on the other hand, I think Hugo's fur is orange, not red, and green tennis shoes would look much more stylish than white with orange fur, especially in a room with purple carpets.

Bkcloud114 also gets extra credit for (1) the sound bite and (2) not being the guy sending out the smokes in the first place.

So if everyone's agreeable, Bkcloud114 would you PM your mailing adress to ggiese and ggiese would you send him a little something to compensate for him sitting at his computer at 10:53 on a Saturday night?

Thanks for a fun competition!

**ggiese** · 09-04-2005, 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

This is a little awkward.

ggiese's answer is more complete, the abominable snowman's name is indeed Hugo and his tennis shoes are white--at least on all the stills I've found on the net--on the other hand, I think Hugo's fur is orange, not red, and green tennis shoes would look much more stylish than white with orange fur, especially in a room with purple carpets.

Bkcloud114 also gets extra credit for (1) the sound bite and (2) not being the guy sending out the smokes in the first place.

So if everyone's agreeable, Bkcloud114 would you PM your mailing adress to ggiese and ggiese would you send him a little something to compensate for him sitting at his computer at 10:53 on a Saturday night?

Thanks for a fun competition!

Here we go... We got CG rigging a contest in favor of BkCloud... I was hoping to send the smokes to you, then you send them back, and then I send them to BkCloud... WTF!!!

Ok - I'll bite... BK - Tommy, baby... You got a package coming...

**ggiese** · 09-15-2005, 05:08 PM

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

This is a little awkward.

ggiese's answer is more complete, the abominable snowman's name is indeed Hugo and his tennis shoes are white--at least on all the stills I've found on the net--on the other hand, I think Hugo's fur is orange, not red, and green tennis shoes would look much more stylish than white with orange fur, especially in a room with purple carpets.

Bkcloud114 also gets extra credit for (1) the sound bite and (2) not being the guy sending out the smokes in the first place.

So if everyone's agreeable, Bkcloud114 would you PM your mailing adress to ggiese and ggiese would you send him a little something to compensate for him sitting at his computer at 10:53 on a Saturday night?

Thanks for a fun competition!

Okay - after much debate amongst the judges, and by the prodding of Corona Gigante (the original winner of my prize), my original prize sticks have been forwarded to BKCloud114. Congrats, Tommy... I'd post a DC#, but I don't remember it - it had way too many numbers in it. It's coming and it most likely got there today - let me know if it doesn't get there and I'll try to figure out what happened...

bigpoppapuff · 09-15-2005, 05:21 PM

what's a DC#??....is it something i should know??..

..also...can cigars be shipped in a business envelope or does it need to go in a manila??

**Bkcloud114** · 09-15-2005, 10:11 PM

Originally Posted by ggiese

Okay - after much debate amongst the judges, and by the prodding of Corona Gigante (the original winner of my prize), my original prize sticks have been forwarded to BKCloud114. Congrats, Tommy... I'd post a DC#, but I don't remember it - it had way too many numbers in it. It's coming and it most likely got there today - let me know if it doesn't get there and I'll try to figure out what happened...

Holy crap..... I forgot all about this thread. How did I win this ? I thought CG won !! or George won !!.... Did I answer out of turn ?? All I know is that I ended up with a really nice selection of smokes from George or are they from CG...... damn I'm confused.

Yes.... this time I'm sitting at my computer at 11:00 pm on a Thursday night.... I have no life.

**Corona Gigante** · 09-04-2005, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by ggiese

I might as well box up my humidor and send it off to CG...

I have no objection in principle to your proposal. However, thanks to you and some of your more nefarious colleagues I have already been smoking way out of my league for the last couple of weeks.

Without this board, and your contributions in particular, I might never have heard of cigarbid, newbie samplers, pass-it-forward bombs, or any of the rest of it. I would be a richer man. I would still have a mail box instead of a smoking hole in the ground. My mail carrier would still hand me my packages with a cheerful smile instead of tossing them onto my porch from a fast moving truck.

So you can keep your stinking humi, stuffed as I'm sure it is with pre-embargo cubans, Opus Xs and selected Edición Limitadas. I'm going to stand tall puffing on my Black Pearl Rojo, and know that I did it...

my way...

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught...

[Music swells, Corona Gigante is led away by men in white coats babbling]