Cigarsmokers Fantasy Football 2014 sign-up and rules

**buzz** · 09-30-2014, 09:46 AM

Somehow I won again, which is not really a surprise -- but I have no idea how it happened.

And of course I am in first place for the league pick 'em and that is for one reason, and one reason alone...

I always choose me to win.

Cue the marching band.

(and so on...)

**buzz** · 10-03-2014, 10:05 AM

Looking at what I believe to be the projected points for this week between me and David, I have a measly 100.09 (that .09 will probably come from J. Maclin) and David has 109.54. 109.54!

There's no way I'm going to win this week, I mean no... possible... way. It is simply impossible. I mean I've got three players with a "P" next t their name which means they are pansies, and one player with the dreaded "Q" which of course means he is busy quilting this week.

Yes, I realize Rosey Grier is not quilting in this photo, but trying to find a photo of an NFL player quilting is more difficult than trying to find a photo of that Miley girl with her tongue inside her mouth.

Anway, I'm sorry to all my fans, but this week will just not happen for the Buzzbombers. Look, we're a good team. No, a great team. But we aren't superhumans. We aren't all doped up on HGH and the anabolic juice*. We just do what we can do with what we have and sometimes it just isn't meant to be.

I mean, if we actually won... oh man that is just such an impossibility of epic proportion that I don't even want to speak of it. It is unspeakable. No, it cannot be done. Shh... don't even think of it. It is impossible.

* Disclaimer: I have no idea if my players are doping. I only know that I am not.

**Eville** · 10-03-2014, 11:42 AM

You're damn right! But even if the unthinkable happens and luck doesn't hit 30 points for the 3rd week in a row, my league leading WR, my numbers 3,5, and 6 RBs, my number 3 TE, and number 1 kicker let me down, you still have to beat me by 52.19 points to take 1st place from me

**ashauler** · 10-03-2014, 01:44 PM

You two guys are just freaking awesome, no doubt about it, running away with it.
It will be a pleasure watching you fight it out all the way to playoff time, when I pretend I'm Kevin and slip in with the big dick, and walk away with the cigars including the prize pack for the best pick 'em.

**buzz** · 10-03-2014, 02:08 PM

So wait, we aren't in the playoffs yet? I thought the season was only 6 games?

**Eville** · 10-03-2014, 04:33 PM

I say we switch it up and do something different this year. How about we do the playoffs and championship at the beginning and do the regular season after? Since we are all in agreement, it looks like this is the championship game for me and Buzz. Don't worry Buzz, 2nd place still gets a few cigars.

**TheGreekTitan** · 10-03-2014, 07:55 PM

Oh ye of little faith. You boys are gonna be lickin' your wounds at the end of the season when you start to get dominated within the next couple weeks. Mark my words.

This game has just begun.

**kingbeefy** · 10-03-2014, 08:49 PM

Premature Fantasy Football ulation is what they call it. I prefer to start slow with a chicken dinner, maybe seafood, it really just depends on my mood. Then cuddle for a bit and watch Falcon's Crest reruns while sipping on some wine coolers. And exactly when the moment is right I untie my tiger print robe, set my lineup, and proceed to finish strong.

It's how I do. So watch out, I'm simply my best when coming from behind. And I have a couple of you in my crotch hairs.

**Day Drunk** · 10-03-2014, 08:54 PM

It's gonna be just like last year
1st Jamie
2nd Beefy
3rd Myself

Be afraid of Beefy's Tiger Robe, I hear it's made from real bits of tiger

**DanB6177** · 10-03-2014, 09:48 PM

Eddie lacy played good

**Eville** · 10-04-2014, 06:41 AM

And I had just lost faith in him and benched him :(

**TheGreekTitan** · 10-05-2014, 08:46 PM

I'll say this. As much as I dislike wagering on things I have little to no control over, fantasy football does make more games more enjoyable. I'm watching the Sunday night game hoping for and getting a good game. I want to see a great game with 2 particular players to have an uneventful day. Pretty cool, and glad I joined. And, OH YEAH Gronk just dropped another pass!

**DanB6177** · 10-05-2014, 09:46 PM

Uncle

**Eville** · 10-06-2014, 01:11 AM

I was worried when I went to bed last night. Now that I'm sitting in the Amsterdam airport freeloading on their wifi, I'm glad I can add another W. It wasn't Luck this week though. Thomas (no idea what his first name is or who he plays for) pulled his own weight and then some.

**buzz** · 10-06-2014, 10:19 AM

Originally Posted by Eville

I was worried when I went to bed last night. Now that I'm sitting in the Amsterdam airport freeloading on their wifi, I'm glad I can add another W. It wasn't Luck this week though. Thomas (no idea what his first name is or who he plays for) pulled his own weight and then some.

Don't count those chickens just yet... You may have 111.98 points to my 85.64, but there is still a game today, and while I may not have any players playing in it... you only have two guys playing!

Wait, uh... (checks how points are tabulated)

Nevermind, go ahead and count them... they've all hatched and are running around loose in my house.

**buzz** · 10-07-2014, 05:05 PM

Ugh... anyone else feel like they've been kicked in the stomach repeatedly by one of those trained kickboxing kangaroos?

No? No one?

...

Anyone?

...

Just me, huh.

**ashauler** · 10-08-2014, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by buzz

Ugh... anyone else feel like they've been kicked in the stomach repeatedly by one of those trained kickboxing kangaroos?

No? No one?

...

Anyone?

...

Just me, huh.

I will avenge you this week buzz and soundly trounce the young upstart. I'll trade you the win for a few peach white owls!

**buzz** · 10-08-2014, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by ashauler

I will avenge you this week buzz and soundly trounce the young upstart. I'll trade you the win for a few peach white owls!

Seems like a fair trade... the peaches are on their way! When you beat him take a moment to stand over his broken body and stare hard into his eyes... I'll see if I can't get my hands on one of those kickboxing kangaroos to send you too, might come in handy not only for the avenging, but in day-to-day tasks around your office.

**ashauler** · 10-08-2014, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by buzz

Seems like a fair trade... the peaches are on their way! When you beat him take a moment to stand over his broken body and stare hard into his eyes... I'll see if I can't get my hands on one of those kickboxing kangaroos to send you too, might come in handy not only for the avenging, but in day-to-day tasks around your office.

Ha, if I had a kick-boxing kangaroo at my disposal our work-comp premiums would sky-rocket.