This Sucks

**WhiteWidow** · 02-13-2006, 12:18 PM

Ok, so I'm basically married to my girlfriend of 4 years, but I don't really have any money to blow on a ring to give her. What the hell am I supposed to do? Should I just wait until I graduate and get a job and save up? This is a good 6-7 months down the road, during which time she will be breathing down my neck, and causing unnecessary pressure while I try to finish school. Or should I get a credit card and go into debt? Or should I tell her that I will be a bachelor until I die?

**hex1848** · 02-13-2006, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by WhiteWidow

Ok, so I'm basically married to my girlfriend of 4 years, but I don't really have any money to blow on a ring to give her. What the hell am I supposed to do? Should I just wait until I graduate and get a job and save up? This is a good 6-7 months down the road, during which time she will be breathing down my neck, and causing unnecessary pressure while I try to finish school. Or should I get a credit card and go into debt? Or should I tell her that I will be a bachelor until I die?

I went through this. Got engaged when I was in college to my girlfriend of 4 years. I bought a $4000 ring. Got into debt and stretched myself way to thin. It ended up putting a lot of strain on our relationship, I had to work my ass off to get out of debt, the fiancé didn’t understand, blah blah. We ended up breaking it off 3 months before the wedding. The engagement wasn’t really the reason we broke it off, but it added unnecessary pressure…

If I had to do it again, I would hold off. A lot of things can change once you graduate.. and in your case it’s only a few months away.

**basil** · 02-13-2006, 12:28 PM

I agree with Hex completely. Debt is never a good thing. Couples argue most about money, sex, and stepkids. If you cave under pressure to buy the ring, chances are you'll resent it later.

**WhiteWidow** · 02-13-2006, 12:33 PM

I'm probably going to spend around $1,000-1500. Right now I make about 150 bucks a week. In August hopefully I will be making somewhere around $35-40k a year. How bad of a strain do y'all think this would be under these circumstances?

**SuperChuck** · 02-13-2006, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by WhiteWidow

Ok, so I'm basically married to my girlfriend of 4 years, but I don't really have any money to blow on a ring to give her. What the hell am I supposed to do? Should I just wait until I graduate and get a job and save up? This is a good 6-7 months down the road, during which time she will be breathing down my neck, and causing unnecessary pressure while I try to finish school. Or should I get a credit card and go into debt? Or should I tell her that I will be a bachelor until I die?

IMHO, "basically married" is always better than "married."

Thank God my girlfriend has no incliination to get married. We're happy. We don't need a ceremony to validate that claim.

Don't put yourself into debt. If she applies pressure to get a ring, think about whether she's interested in you or in the ring. For many women, "Mr. Right" is secondary to "getting married".

You're supposed to ask her to marry you, you're not supposed to feel like you're supposed to propose.

**Shagaroo** · 02-13-2006, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by WhiteWidow

during which time she will be breathing down my neck, and causing unnecessary pressure while I try to finish school.

Allow me to be the asshole SOB for a minute.

Dude, WTF? You'd marry a girl who would ride your ass for a ring regardless of the fact it would put you in serious financial difficulties at the end of your college career? I think you are thinking with the wrong head. Wake up.

I think SuperChuck should be quoted again here...

Originally Posted by SuperChuck

Don't put yourself into debt. If she applies pressure to get a ring, think about whether she's interested in you or in the ring. For many women, "Mr. Right" is secondary to "getting married".

You're supposed to ask her to marry you, you're not supposed to feel like you're supposed to propose.

**WhiteWidow** · 02-13-2006, 04:37 PM

Originally Posted by Shagaroo

Allow me to be the asshole SOB for a minute.

Dude, WTF? You'd marry a girl who would ride your ass for a ring regardless of the fact it would put you in serious financial difficulties at the end of your college career? I think you are thinking with the wrong head. Wake up.

I think SuperChuck should be quoted again here...

Well, she's also kind of pissed because while I was on my internship last semester, and making really good money, I told her I was saving up but instead blew all my money on cigars and video games.

**Shagaroo** · 02-13-2006, 04:44 PM

Originally Posted by WhiteWidow

instead blew all my money on cigars and video games.

And remind her you could have blown it on crack and $2 hookers! She should be thankful all you gave her was mild aggrivation, not something a shot couldn't clear up.

Damn women, never see the silver lining in any damn thing!

**SuperChuck** · 02-13-2006, 04:44 PM

Originally Posted by WhiteWidow

Well, she's also kind of pissed because while I was on my internship last semester, and making really good money, I told her I was saving up but instead blew all my money on cigars and video games.

I'd like to take this opportunity to gloat (again):

Originally Posted by MrsSuperChuck

I don't care what you do with your money, it's your money

**prophetic_joe** · 02-14-2006, 01:01 AM

Originally Posted by WhiteWidow

Well, she's also kind of pissed because while I was on my internship last semester, and making really good money, I told her I was saving up but instead blew all my money on cigars and video games.

Here's the deal man, I just got married in october and my wife never road my ass about getting married once, she knew when we could afford it it would happen. I understand the girl being mad at you because you told her you were going to buy her a nice ring and instead bought cigars and video games but when it comes down to it it is your money so the hell with it. If buying her a ring now would put a serious financial strain on you I say hold off, and you damn sure aren't going to be able to relax once you do propose, forget about getting time for school or time finding a better job. Now you enter into marriage in debt and in financial trouble and are really fucked.

My suggestion tell your girl you will buy her a ring but whatever you spend on her ring she has to match and buy you cigars and shit. Maybe that will get her to stop pestering you for awhile.

**WhiteWidow** · 02-13-2006, 12:50 PM

At least I will get a kick ass bachelor party

**cigar no baka** · 02-13-2006, 01:42 PM

My personal experience with women tells me to never go into debt if you can avoid it.

**ukyfan** · 02-13-2006, 01:50 PM

Originally Posted by WhiteWidow

At least I will get a kick ass bachelor party

Yeah, instead of buying the ring, use it for one last night of freedom ;)

**WhiteWidow** · 02-13-2006, 03:45 PM

OK, so I realize having a credit card bill is shitty, but would it be less shitty to get this out of the way, so I can concentrate soley on school for the next 6 months? Or should I just light this Gurkha Legend Torpedo I have up, and smoke all my cares away?

**ukyfan** · 02-13-2006, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by WhiteWidow

OK, so I realize having a credit card bill is shitty, but would it be less shitty to get this out of the way, so I can concentrate soley on school for the next 6 months? Or should I just light this Gurkha Legend Torpedo I have up, and smoke all my cares away?

Light up the Gurkha

**SuperChuck** · 02-13-2006, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by WhiteWidow

OK, so I realize having a credit card bill is shitty, but would it be less shitty to get this out of the way, so I can concentrate soley on school for the next 6 months? Or should I just light this Gurkha Legend Torpedo I have up, and smoke all my cares away?

Concentrate on school? The moment you propose is the moment the madness begins. One day everything is normal, the next you come home to a living room covered knee deep in bridal magazines.... "Honey, what do you think about these flowers? Should we invite your Cousin Bob? What color should we paint the baby's room?"

Smoke the Gurkha!

Edit:

It might be fun to really try and mess things up. When she starts asking about bridesmaid dresses, insist that they wear kangaroo costumes. When she yells at you, tell her it's a family tradition of yours and you don't know if you can marry someone who doesn't respect your traditions. Hehehe... Almost worth getting married for... Nah!