This Sucks

[WhiteWidow]

Ok, so I'm basically married to my girlfriend of 4 years, but I don't really have any money to blow on a ring to give her. What the hell am I supposed to do? Should I just wait until I graduate and get a job and save up? This is a good 6-7 months down the road, during which time she will be breathing down my neck, and causing unnecessary pressure while I try to finish school. Or should I get a credit card and go into debt? Or should I tell her that I will be a bachelor until I die?

[hex1848]

Ok, so I'm basically married to my girlfriend of 4 years, but I don't really have any money to blow on a ring to give her. What the hell am I supposed to do? Should I just wait until I graduate and get a job and save up? This is a good 6-7 months down the road, during which time she will be breathing down my neck, and causing unnecessary pressure while I try to finish school. Or should I get a credit card and go into debt? Or should I tell her that I will be a bachelor until I die?

I went through this. Got engaged when I was in college to my girlfriend of 4 years. I bought a $4000 ring. Got into debt and stretched myself way to thin. It ended up putting a lot of strain on our relationship, I had to work my ass off to get out of debt, the fiancé didn’t understand, blah blah. We ended up breaking it off 3 months before the wedding. The engagement wasn’t really the reason we broke it off, but it added unnecessary pressure…

If I had to do it again, I would hold off. A lot of things can change once you graduate.. and in your case it’s only a few months away.

[basil]

I agree with Hex completely. Debt is never a good thing. Couples argue most about money, sex, and stepkids. If you cave under pressure to buy the ring, chances are you'll resent it later.

[WhiteWidow]

I'm probably going to spend around $1,000-1500. Right now I make about 150 bucks a week. In August hopefully I will be making somewhere around $35-40k a year. How bad of a strain do y'all think this would be under these circumstances?

[SuperChuck]

Ok, so I'm basically married to my girlfriend of 4 years, but I don't really have any money to blow on a ring to give her. What the hell am I supposed to do? Should I just wait until I graduate and get a job and save up? This is a good 6-7 months down the road, during which time she will be breathing down my neck, and causing unnecessary pressure while I try to finish school. Or should I get a credit card and go into debt? Or should I tell her that I will be a bachelor until I die?

IMHO, "basically married" is always better than "married."

Thank God my girlfriend has no incliination to get married. We're happy. We don't need a ceremony to validate that claim.

Don't put yourself into debt. If she applies pressure to get a ring, think about whether she's interested in you or in the ring. For many women, "Mr. Right" is secondary to "getting married".

You're supposed to ask her to marry you, you're not supposed to feel like you're supposed to propose.

[WhiteWidow]

At least I will get a kick ass bachelor party

[cigar no baka]

My personal experience with women tells me to never go into debt if you can avoid it.

[ukyfan]

At least I will get a kick ass bachelor party

Yeah, instead of buying the ring, use it for one last night of freedom ;)

[WhiteWidow]

OK, so I realize having a credit card bill is shitty, but would it be less shitty to get this out of the way, so I can concentrate soley on school for the next 6 months? Or should I just light this Gurkha Legend Torpedo I have up, and smoke all my cares away?

[ukyfan]

OK, so I realize having a credit card bill is shitty, but would it be less shitty to get this out of the way, so I can concentrate soley on school for the next 6 months? Or should I just light this Gurkha Legend Torpedo I have up, and smoke all my cares away?

Light up the Gurkha

[SuperChuck]

OK, so I realize having a credit card bill is shitty, but would it be less shitty to get this out of the way, so I can concentrate soley on school for the next 6 months? Or should I just light this Gurkha Legend Torpedo I have up, and smoke all my cares away?

Concentrate on school? The moment you propose is the moment the madness begins. One day everything is normal, the next you come home to a living room covered knee deep in bridal magazines.... "Honey, what do you think about these flowers? Should we invite your Cousin Bob? What color should we paint the baby's room?"

Smoke the Gurkha!

Edit:

It might be fun to really try and mess things up. When she starts asking about bridesmaid dresses, insist that they wear kangaroo costumes. When she yells at you, tell her it's a family tradition of yours and you don't know if you can marry someone who doesn't respect your traditions. Hehehe... Almost worth getting married for... Nah!

[WhiteWidow]

Jesus Christ, you are all right. What have I gotten myself into?

[reaganyouth84]

Don't go into debt man. That is a bad move starting out in a marriage. A friend of mine blew 13,000 dollars on a ring! That's right 13,000 bones! Needless to say I think he is an idiot. 13k might not be that big of a deal if you make mad money, but when you make 12 dollars an hour it's not such a great idea.

I have a couple of credit cards and have gone into debt. I'm taking this semester off from school just to work and pay them off...NOT COOL. I wouldn't recommend getting a credit card right now, and have to worry about paying off 3,000 dollars. I think that if she really cares about you and the relationship then she won't have a problem with you waiting it out a little longer.

Anyways, I hope everything works out alright for you.

-Mike

[Shagaroo]

during which time she will be breathing down my neck, and causing unnecessary pressure while I try to finish school.

Allow me to be the asshole SOB for a minute.

Dude, WTF? You'd marry a girl who would ride your ass for a ring regardless of the fact it would put you in serious financial difficulties at the end of your college career? I think you are thinking with the wrong head. Wake up.

I think SuperChuck should be quoted again here...

Don't put yourself into debt. If she applies pressure to get a ring, think about whether she's interested in you or in the ring. For many women, "Mr. Right" is secondary to "getting married".

You're supposed to ask her to marry you, you're not supposed to feel like you're supposed to propose.

[WhiteWidow]

Allow me to be the asshole SOB for a minute.

Dude, WTF? You'd marry a girl who would ride your ass for a ring regardless of the fact it would put you in serious financial difficulties at the end of your college career? I think you are thinking with the wrong head. Wake up.

I think SuperChuck should be quoted again here...

Well, she's also kind of pissed because while I was on my internship last semester, and making really good money, I told her I was saving up but instead blew all my money on cigars and video games.

[porschesales225]

yeah you only hope that giving her a ring will come her down. concentrate on school and getting a job bcs they are way more important take it from someone who is about to finish himself. you love her and thats great but what happens if she doesnt want to follow you to your next job?

[cinda]

Here goes the mature female prospective. You both are pretty young and she most likely feels that she needs some type of socially excepted promise from you for all the time she put into you. It's harsh but girls get a lot of pressure too for all the wrong reasons. It is apart trickle down theory. After a few year of dating my now husband he bought me a pre-engagement ring that cost about $145.00. We went out and pick it out together and had a beautiful day. Honestly I did not think about getting married after that for another 10 years and it is the ring I cherish the most 22 years later. You can give her that promise in something that is less expensive but with more meaning. Maybe your mom or grandma might have a piece of jewelry that she can be given in the same fashion. Don't take out the credit card for the big diamond because the rest of the wedding will end up going on that card and you be in divorced before it is plaided down enough to charge your lawyer too it.

[Shagaroo]

instead blew all my money on cigars and video games.

And remind her you could have blown it on crack and $2 hookers! She should be thankful all you gave her was mild aggrivation, not something a shot couldn't clear up.

Damn women, never see the silver lining in any damn thing!

[SuperChuck]

Well, she's also kind of pissed because while I was on my internship last semester, and making really good money, I told her I was saving up but instead blew all my money on cigars and video games.

I'd like to take this opportunity to gloat (again):

I don't care what you do with your money, it's your money

[Shagaroo]

Here goes the mature ....

I'm not sure that's allowed here cinda. Be careful, don't want you getting banned....