A discussion on perceptions

[ggiese]

Let me sum this up in the best way I can for you...

1) An opinion of one member of this board is not the opinion of the entire board. You may view it that way, but that does not make it so. It is the opinion of the person posting - just like your post is your position and not the position of any section of this board.

2) You are new here. You've not been on any other boards that I know of - and I believe you've made it clear you have not been on any cigar boards other than this one. And admittedly, you have only been involved for a couple of weeks. While you bring your social skills to this board - the only person on this board who is aware of and understands your social skills is you. No one else on this board knows a thing about you - so how could you possibly believe you have any credibility with the other members of the boards at this point.

3) You don't know me - or for that matter - anyone else on this board. You may be "impressed" with certain members here, but certainly that is because it fits into your perception of righteousness and fairness. That may be right or that may be wrong - depending on what "gut" feeling you have. Though, from my interactions and experiences on the cigar boards I have to tell you - things are not always as they seem. The person you view as a very socially balanced, intelligent person in reality could be an unemployed mooching loser - or a frustrated small town high school teacher who is as maniacal as they come - the list goes on and on, as we have all fell for some of the chirades of these people. Don't give into the temptation too quickly...

4) I'm sure you're a nice guy - at least I would hope so. You've fallen into a great group of people here. But you are, in some sense, joining a private club. Not that membership is out of reach, but certainly the members of this club will measure your potential contributions to this community and decide if they want to let you into the "circle of trust". There are those that become part of the group - while others are chased out. It's hard to point to exactly what it takes to get you chased out or what it takes to be accepted. Certainly, though, wearing clown makeup and Bozo shoes while insisting you're not a clown will definitely draw a reaction. I think the biggest demise of many is not recognizing when they're chest deep in quicksand, and instead of trying to swim to safety they shake their fists and curse. Those that can take the occasional ball busting fair much better than those that insist upon always proving their point.

My post saying that you had no credibility was not meant to signal you to leave. It was meant as a means for you to measure your response in that thread. Because it was heated - do you really want to stick your neck out at the very beginning not fully knowing all of the relationships between the various players in the situation? Certainly you don't know PartagasGuy, and can't speak for his reputation. You don't know the others that chimed in or speak of their reputations. Your reputation has not been established so no one knows if you're for real, for a while, or not at all. You have to establish yourself by interaction with the community.

From my understanding, Shelby - you're not a young un'. It would seem to me most of this would be instinctive to you. You've been around the block. Most old timers I know are pretty uncanny in their ability to assess a situation and prepare an appropriate response. Jumping into a heated thread, not having any background with the board, is not the wisest thing I'm sure you've done in your life. And further expecting everyone on the board to accept your position of attempting to negotiate an end to the dispute without comment is even more ludicrous.

Please take the constructive criticism given to you as just that - constructive. If you take offense to things said easily, you're not going to like it here. Believe me - I've been insulted way past any bounds of reasonableness on many occasions. What keeps me here are the relationships I've developed with others on this board - people here are not that bad. The community won't let them be...

[SuperChuck]

Thanks for the input.

It's been a long time since most of us have been called a newbie, it's good to get a fresh perspective on things...

I don't want to explain away what happens here. That really doesn't matter. The important part is your reaction. I'd hate to lose potentially great members leave because they think they're entering a hostile place.

I imagine it's a little like walking into a bar just as a fight breaks out. It might be a wonderful bar, but I ain't that thirsty.

Maybe you're right. Maybe we do need to come up with a way of dealing with assclowns that's more newbie-friendly. I know if I wandered into this place and the next day watched a "fellow newbie" get trampled, I probably wouldn't return.

Fortunately, you stuck around...

[cigarsarge]

I think Shelby is ok. Nice to have some more "elderly" folks around. We are definately a minority.

On another subject every newbie that comes in here and steps on his privates is not a scammer, profit maker, or troll. I don't know what the solution to the problem is. How we deal with this problem is gonna determine the future of this place.

[bigpoppapuff]

I think Shelby is ok. Nice to have some more "elderly" folks around. We are definately a minority.

.

HEY!!!!....????...

[bigpoppapuff]

On another subject every newbie that comes in here and steps on his privates is not a scammer, profit maker, or troll. I don't know what the solution to the problem is. How we deal with this problem is gonna determine the future of this place.

this is very true...we can't keep chasing people immediately....no growth!!...no board!!!..

[Bighardbrowncigar]

this is very true...we can't keep chasing people immediately....no growth!!...no board!!!..

Thought I might make an observation. Just so as not to offend anyone, I will apologize first in case I step on any toes. Ok, I had noticed that there was a person floating around here under a few names but was actually the same guy. I had read some of his\her posts, and didn't see anything posted that was derogatory. The person wasn't trying to sell anything, and did a legitimate trade with a regular on the board.

Wouldn't it have been better if this person had been constructively criticized and temp banned or some other such punishment rather than a simple heave ho? It didn't seem like he meant anything but to have a bit of harmless fun.

That said, thank for the welcome, and I'll sit back and learn for a while.

bhbc

[ggiese]

Thought I might make an observation. Just so as not to offend anyone, I will apologize first in case I step on any toes. Ok, I had noticed that there was a person floating around here under a few names but was actually the same guy. I had read some of his\her posts, and didn't see anything posted that was derogatory. The person wasn't trying to sell anything, and did a legitimate trade with a regular on the board.

Wouldn't it have been better if this person had been constructively criticized and temp banned or some other such punishment rather than a simple heave ho? It didn't seem like he meant anything but to have a bit of harmless fun.

That said, thank for the welcome, and I'll sit back and learn for a while.

bhbc

Mark,

I think if that person you speak of had been honest with himself and the other members, life would be peachy right now... Unfortunately, for a 35 yr old to act like he's 12 on an adult discussion board doesn't make for a pleasant situation.

You can't start out by being a troll, then decide you like the place... If you do, you got some 'splainin to do...

[illilli]

Thought I might make an observation. Just so as not to offend anyone, I will apologize first in case I step on any toes. Ok, I had noticed that there was a person floating around here under a few names but was actually the same guy. I had read some of his\her posts, and didn't see anything posted that was derogatory. The person wasn't trying to sell anything, and did a legitimate trade with a regular on the board.

Wouldn't it have been better if this person had been constructively criticized and temp banned or some other such punishment rather than a simple heave ho? It didn't seem like he meant anything but to have a bit of harmless fun.

That said, thank for the welcome, and I'll sit back and learn for a while.

bhbc

You are only allowed to have one login. That's the rule Mark, if that's your name. I'm not fooled by your posted age either; I know you are only 19 from Southern California. Why not be straight with us and let us guide you to really fitting in here?

[bigpoppapuff]

whothefuggizzmark??.....and what am i missing here??...

[NullSmurf]

I think Shelby is ok. Nice to have some more "elderly" folks around. We are definately a minority.

On another subject every newbie that comes in here and steps on his privates is not a scammer, profit maker, or troll. I don't know what the solution to the problem is. How we deal with this problem is gonna determine the future of this place.

Who you calling elderly!?

[tampacigargirl]

On another subject every newbie that comes in here and steps on his privates is not a scammer, profit maker, or troll. I don't know what the solution to the problem is. How we deal with this problem is gonna determine the future of this place.

Ummm some of us don't have privates to step on!

Sorry, I know this is a serious subject but I had to stick my 2 cents in.

[Shagaroo]

Ummm some of us don't have privates to step on!

Sorry, I know this is a serious subject but I had to stick my 2 cents in.

Then careful you don't step IN yours.....

[BigMacFU]

Shelby, I was the first one to respond to Pguy and my reasoning has somewhat been explained by others but, let me do so in my own words.

First, go humping a mule and insta-ban are not extreme. My language compared to most is rather reserved. And, as he indicated in many later posts, he has such a thick skin that such a comment would fall off him like it was nothing, so he couldn't have been offended.

Second, anybody who shows up on a board and their first post is something like, "Rare cigars for sale," or just in general, "cigars for sale" is not here for anything more than a sale. It is like going door to door in real life. I chose to shut the door on this guy instead of inviting him in and hearing his "sell." With the British guy selling cubans, the board decided to let him in the house, make his pitch, and then we threw every odd question or scheme back at him, hoping he'd just realize how annoying a salesman really is. If PGuy ever wanted anything else out of this board, he would have started with an intro thread, or he would've asked a question that would elicit some typical response of, "Welcome to the board, briefly 65% get beads, and cello doesn't matter, for future reference, use the search function."

But no thread like this was written. In fact, the only time PGuy even started to act like he was anything but a salesman was when Poppa tried to diffuse things, and so made small talk. But, salespeople love this, they want to make you think they're your friend. Clearly, PGuy failed as a salesman, in fact, he knew that we knew that was all he was here for and is why he never apologized and never said anything like, I wanted to become a part of this board, I've been lurking and this looks like a great bunch of guys.

So, to sum up, Shelby, we shouldn't chase newbs away by being hostile, you're right. PGuy was not a noob though, his intention was pure and simple, sell, sell, sell. He never had any intention of sticking around (at least until it was explained to him that only established/trusted members would be allowed to engage in sales without getting flamed every two seconds). If I could sell cigars for a price of up to 750 dollars, I'd change my tune to make the sale too.

I did nothing wrong and neither did anybody else who went after PGuy. We caught him red handed (and like I said, I'm a little more reserved, so I won't even use the red smiley we have available, nor have I ever).