For the Big Boys

[mauied1101]

1. I spent 8 days in Africa. My guide Suimbe now lives in the same city as I do? TRUE

2. As a teenager, I was stabbed. The point of entry was my thigh? FALSE

3. I think Sarah Jessica Parker is hot FALSE

4. My favorite color is yellow TRUE

5. My first concert was Nirvana in a small club FALSE

6. My house was burned down by a savage gang of assholes when I was 5 years old TRUE

7. My grandmother was a ?Rosie the Rivet Girl?- during WWII TRUE

8. I was Baptized as a Mormon

9. My Grandfather raised Clydesdale horses TRUE

10. As a teenager, I was stabbed. The point of entry was my eyebrow TRUE

11. My favorite color is blue FALSE

12. Right now, I wish I could have:

a.) a hot chick with her friend
b.) a glass of Wild Turkey on ice
c.) a turd dipped in Drew Estate flavoring
d.) a new truck

13. I think Angelina Jolie is hot TRUE

14. My favorite feature on a woman is:

a.) ass
b.) eyes
c.) tits
d.) personality

15. My first concert was the Doobie Brothers TRUE

16. I named my first child after:

a.) My Grandfather
b.) An actor
c.) A musician
d.) None of the above
17. As a teenager, I smoked:

a.) Lot?s of weed
b.) A little Meth
c.) Lots of cigars
d.) Lots of Cigarettes

18. When I was young, I wanted to grow up to be a:

a.) Police Officer
b.) Lawyer
c.) Teacher
d.) Crime Boss

19. How long have I been with my wife (since we started dating)?

a.) 5 years
b.) 10 years
c.) 15 years
d.) 20 years

20. I consider myself to be:

a.) Democrat
b.) Republican
c.) Independent
d.) Libertarian

Good luck folks!

Tie breaker: 211 LBS

Answers in blue. Nice contest SLC!

[slcraiders]

Congrats to Mauied1101 who won quite convincingly even though he forgot to answer one.

1. I spent 8 days in Africa. My guide Suimbe now lives in the same city as I do?

False- got a few of you on this one..!

2. As a teenager, I was stabbed. The point of entry was my thigh?

False, my thighs are just fine thanks!

3. I think Sarah Jessica Parker is hot

False- Buffugly bitch

4. My favorite color is yellow

True. Don’t know why, but it makes me feel happy!

5. My first concert was Nirvana in a small club

False- my 6th or 7th concert with about 50-75 people max in attendance

6. My house was burned down by a savage gang of assholes when I was 5 years old

True. What a crazy evening that I wish I could hit the old DELETE button on…

7. My grandmother was a “Rosie the Rivet Girl”- during WWII

True- Grandma rocked!

8. I was Baptized as a Mormon

True- nothing else to do in Utah

9. My Grandfather raised Clydesdale horses

True- Gramps was the original “Bud Man”

10. As a teenager, I was stabbed. The point of entry was my eyebrow

True- over a ghetto blaster (On my way home from a party, three dudes tried to steal my double tape deck portable out of all things). Switchblade to the eyebrow, yet I held on to the unit. I was in fear of my Dad saying: “Damnit, I worked my ass off to buy you that radio, and all you have to show for it is blood on the carpet”.

11. My favorite color is blue

False- see above

12. Right now, I wish I could have:

a.)a hot chick with her friend
b.)a glass of Wild Turkey on ice
c.)a turd dipped in Drew Estate flavoring
d.)a new truck

b. then a. Both answers are acceptable, but as Hefty stated (I want, but I won’t)

13. I think Angelina Jolie is hot

Grrrrrrr. True Dat’

14. My favorite feature on a woman is:

a.)ass
b.)eyes
c.)tits
d.)personality

b.) The eyes tell it all!

But I do like a nice girl with a great personality… …as long as she has also possesses a nice answer A. and a great set of answer C.!

15. My first concert was the Doobie Brothers

True. Mom dragged me to this when I was 6 or so. I still remember this vividly: lots of pot, hair, and drunk fucktards singing “Blackwater”

16. I named my first child after:

a.)My Grandfather
b.)An actor
c.)A musician
d.)None of the above

c.) Tons of Ians in bands like Deep Purple, The Cult and Jethro Tull

17. As a teenager, I smoked:

a.)Lots of weed
b.)A little Meth
c.)Lots of cigars
d.)Lots of Cigarettes

a.) I was a big stoner. Kept me sane during my teen years, I guess.

18. When I was young, I wanted to grow up to be a:

a.)Police Officer
b.)Lawyer
c.)Teacher
d.)Crime Boss

c.) A History Teacher until I found out what the wage was….

19. How long have I been with my wife (since we started dating)?

a.)5 years
b.)10 years
c.)15 years
d.)20 years

d.) Wow, and I am 35. WTF was I thinking (just kidding my little special apple spice dumpling pumpkin of a honey bear).

20. I consider myself to be:

a.)Democrat
b.)Republican
c.)Independent
d.)Libertarian

b.) By platform alone, but Dubya has left me, along with others, wondering what in the hell is wrong with this picture. Ross Perot in ’92!!! I believe the Reform party will make a big come-back in the next 5-10 years.

Smokes go out tomorrow- thanks for playing, guys.

[heftysmokes]

Congrats to Mauied; great contest SLC!

And you are right about history teachers not making shit for a wage

[mauied1101]

SUWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

And I just looked back at the one I forgot to enter... yeah, you know I know the answer to that one my brotha... *pumping fists*

Seriously - thank you for the contest and in advance for this sticks. Gonna hit that postman like a dog on a bone.... or a postman....

Fantastic way to start the week. Except that work comes in 8 hours.

Cheers all.

[WOXOF]

Congrats Paul!

Great contest along with some interesting family history.

[CgarDan]

Awesome job Paul. And James thanks for the contest this one was fun

[mauied1101]

Got the sticks today - and I have to say, my eyes got bigger and bigger pulling out each stick. Thank you SLC for the great contest and gracious sticks!!!

Some day, some how, some way, I'll send a little firecracker when you least suspect it.

Until then, I'll be scheming and smokin'