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Thread: Profound question thread

  1. #1
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    Question Profound question thread

    If nothing is better than complete happiness in life, than how is a ham sandwich better than nothing?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shelby07 View Post
    If nothing is better than complete happiness in life, than how is a ham sandwich better than nothing?
    My head hurts. Just what I needed after an intensive day at work.
    {*insert snide remark here*}
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    Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii??
    "We're at NOW now... everything that's hapening now... is happening NOW!"

    ~ Col. Sanders ~


    "I guess all we need to do now is give a shit what you think. I'll work on that."

    ~ ashauler ~

  4. #4
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    Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
    Just a stay at home dad (retired until I choose otherwise, thanks Canadian Army medical pension) hanging out and enjoying the good life.

  5. #5
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    and when I SHIP a package.... why do the bastards put it on a TRUCK?
    "We're at NOW now... everything that's hapening now... is happening NOW!"

    ~ Col. Sanders ~


    "I guess all we need to do now is give a shit what you think. I'll work on that."

    ~ ashauler ~

  6. #6

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    Why do people say they are taking a shit when they are actually leaving one?

  7. #7
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    I'm still thinking about the ham sandwich.

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    how do you get a one armed pollock out of a tree ?

    “I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”

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    Quote Originally Posted by dustinpollock View Post
    how do you get a one armed pollock out of a tree ?
    Shotgun?

    Offer him an Acid?

    Climb up and ask him to "LEAF"?

    Leave him up there until he turns red and yellow, and he'll fall on his own?
    "We're at NOW now... everything that's hapening now... is happening NOW!"

    ~ Col. Sanders ~


    "I guess all we need to do now is give a shit what you think. I'll work on that."

    ~ ashauler ~

  10. #10
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    Offer him an Acid?


    you have acids?................... shit i just fell you just wait d i have your addy

    dustin

    “I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”

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    why do we call the player a running back if he runs forward?

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    If a man was alone in the woods with no woman around and he said something, would he still be wrong?

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shelby07 View Post
    If a man was alone in the woods with no woman around and he said something, would he still be wrong?
    Would the man care?

    How ya doing, Mark?
    Bruce

    Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.
    Hanlon's Razor


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    Quote Originally Posted by NullSmurf View Post
    Would the man care?

    How ya doing, Mark?
    HA! He probably wouldn't even notice!

    Doing good, Bruce.

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    A man was to be sentenced, and the judge told him, "You may make a statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison." After the man made his statement, the judge decided to let him go free. What did the man say?
    {*insert snide remark here*}
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    Quote Originally Posted by drew_goring View Post
    A man was to be sentenced, and the judge told him, "You may make a statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison." After the man made his statement, the judge decided to let him go free. What did the man say?
    "I still have the negatives."
    Last edited by ashauler; 09-05-2008 at 10:41 AM. Reason: spelling

  17. #17
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    Why do light switches say "off" on them?
    End of line.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashauler View Post
    "I still have the negatives."


    Not quite.
    {*insert snide remark here*}
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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by drew_goring View Post
    A man was to be sentenced, and the judge told him, "You may make a statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison." After the man made his statement, the judge decided to let him go free. What did the man say?
    "You're going to sentence me to 6 years in prison."

    Somebody else can explain it... my head hurts!

  20. #20
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    Why doesn't it tickle when you tickle yourself??

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