Cigar things that annoy you

[ggiese]

Or the famous (or infamous) -

Hungadunga, Hungadunga & Mc Cormick...

...and - as a special offer to board members... a pack of smokes to the person who can tell me who said that where...

Hint: "You've left out a Hungadunga! You've left out the main one, too. Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you, eh? All right, leave it out and put in a windshield wiper instead. I tell you what you do, Jamison. I tell you what. Make it, uh, make it three windshield wipers and one Hungadunga. They won't all be there when the letter arrives, anyhow. "

[bigpoppapuff]

a guy walks into a bar and yells "all lawyers are assholes"...
.....guy at the end of the bar says "i'm offended by that"
first guy says "why,are you a lawyer?"
second guy says " no!!..i'm an asshole!!"......





riiiiiimmmmmmsssssshhhhot!!!!!!.....

[Corona Gigante]

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

[Neuromancer]

Or the famous (or infamous) -

Hungadunga, Hungadunga & Mc Cormick...

...and - as a special offer to board members... a pack of smokes to the person who can tell me who said that where...

Hint: "You've left out a Hungadunga! You've left out the main one, too. Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you, eh? All right, leave it out and put in a windshield wiper instead. I tell you what you do, Jamison. I tell you what. Make it, uh, make it three windshield wipers and one Hungadunga. They won't all be there when the letter arrives, anyhow. "

Groucho, in "A Night In Casablanca"...

[Neuromancer]

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

Sorry, CG, but GG asked who said it and where? You got the movie wrong...but then you always get the movie wrong...if it was the right movie I'd know it...then you'd know it...and if I knew it I'd tell you so you'd know it, but then we'd both be wrong...but then maybe I'd just be wrong...so if you say the "secret woid" the duck will give you a cigar...

[Neuromancer]

Groucho, in "A Night In Casablanca"...

But then I might be wrong...unless...he used that line in two different movies...and knowing Groucho that could be extremely likely...but then I don't know Groucho...so if you know Groucho you can tell me if he'd do that...but then of course, you'd have to know Groucho...so do you know Groucho? You would certainly tell me if you knew Groucho, wouldn't you? So then I would know that you knew Groucho...I sure don't know him but would have loved to...

[basil]

a guy walks into a bar and yells "all lawyers are assholes"...
.....guy at the end of the bar says "i'm offended by that"
first guy says "why,are you a lawyer?"
second guy says " no!!..i'm an asshole!!"......





riiiiiimmmmmmsssssshhhhot!!!!!!.....

Is this a lawyer joke or an asshole joke?

[Neuromancer]

Hmmmm...off with his head (^)...he's guilty of Groucho-padding...but then Groucho was quilty of Groucho-padding...but that wasn't Groucho that said that was it? It was the Red Queen in "Alice In Wonderland." Wasn't it? Or was the Red Queen the one that said, "balls, if I had them I'd be King!"

[Corona Gigante]

Dude,

Take it easy on the absinthe.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0020640/quotes

[Neuromancer]

Dude,

Take it easy on the absinthe.

ROFL...how the hell did you know what I was drinking? Ahhhh....the "green fairy"...would love to get my hands on the real stuff...might be going to Hungary in the next year or so...hear you can get it there...hear you can get it anywhere...but then if you can get it anywhere I don't need to go to Hungary to get it...get it?

[Neuromancer]

Dude,

Take it easy on the absinthe.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0020640/quotes

Give that man a cigar...I concede defeat...but then if I can see de feet then I'd be looking down and I'm looking up...at least I think I'm looking up...last time I looked I was looking up...but if I looked then I couldn't be looking up because I'd have to be looking at me...and if I was looking at me I certainly couldn't be looking up, now could I?

[Bkcloud114]

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

The abomidable snowman from Bugs Bunny.. Sound bite

I don't remember any sneakers but they could have been GREEN

[ggiese]

Groucho, in "A Night In Casablanca"...

SO CLOSE, but yet so far... Keep going...

[ggiese]

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

DING-DING-DING-DING We have a winnah....

I might as well box up my humidor and send it off to CG...

They'll be in the mail next week!

[ggiese]

Two lions walking through the desert.

One lion suddenly sticks his tongue as deep as it can into the other lion's asshole.

The other lion shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?!"

The first lion says, "I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

The other lion (he was called Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding. for some reason) says, "Next time, try some chewing on some ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!"

And I will forward ggiese's pack of smokes, if I win them, and which I know will be first rate, to the first person who can tell me who would "love him and pet him and call him George" and what color his tennis shoes are.

Why, that would be Hugo the Abominable Snowman, and he's red with WHITE tennis shoes....

[Neuromancer]

Why, that would be Hugo the Abominable Snowman, and he's red with WHITE tennis shoes....

Hey...this is too funny...GG sends them to CG...who then sends them back to GG...

[Corona Gigante]

This is a little awkward.

ggiese's answer is more complete, the abominable snowman's name is indeed Hugo and his tennis shoes are white--at least on all the stills I've found on the net--on the other hand, I think Hugo's fur is orange, not red, and green tennis shoes would look much more stylish than white with orange fur, especially in a room with purple carpets.

Bkcloud114 also gets extra credit for (1) the sound bite and (2) not being the guy sending out the smokes in the first place.

So if everyone's agreeable, Bkcloud114 would you PM your mailing adress to ggiese and ggiese would you send him a little something to compensate for him sitting at his computer at 10:53 on a Saturday night?

Thanks for a fun competition!

[Corona Gigante]

I might as well box up my humidor and send it off to CG...

I have no objection in principle to your proposal. However, thanks to you and some of your more nefarious colleagues I have already been smoking way out of my league for the last couple of weeks.

Without this board, and your contributions in particular, I might never have heard of cigarbid, newbie samplers, pass-it-forward bombs, or any of the rest of it. I would be a richer man. I would still have a mail box instead of a smoking hole in the ground. My mail carrier would still hand me my packages with a cheerful smile instead of tossing them onto my porch from a fast moving truck.

So you can keep your stinking humi, stuffed as I'm sure it is with pre-embargo cubans, Opus Xs and selected Edición Limitadas. I'm going to stand tall puffing on my Black Pearl Rojo, and know that I did it...


my way...



For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught...

[Music swells, Corona Gigante is led away by men in white coats babbling]

[cigar no baka]

Hey CG if you want some really quality smokes to stick in your humi, I'll send you a fiver of Travis Club smokes.

[ggiese]

This is a little awkward.

ggiese's answer is more complete, the abominable snowman's name is indeed Hugo and his tennis shoes are white--at least on all the stills I've found on the net--on the other hand, I think Hugo's fur is orange, not red, and green tennis shoes would look much more stylish than white with orange fur, especially in a room with purple carpets.

Bkcloud114 also gets extra credit for (1) the sound bite and (2) not being the guy sending out the smokes in the first place.

So if everyone's agreeable, Bkcloud114 would you PM your mailing adress to ggiese and ggiese would you send him a little something to compensate for him sitting at his computer at 10:53 on a Saturday night?

Thanks for a fun competition!

Here we go... We got CG rigging a contest in favor of BkCloud... I was hoping to send the smokes to you, then you send them back, and then I send them to BkCloud... WTF!!!

Ok - I'll bite... BK - Tommy, baby... You got a package coming...