Emergency Crap in middle of Cigar

[nhcigarfan]

I know I can't be the only one this has happened to, but have any of you had to suddenly blow some serious mud in the middle of a good cigar? This happened to me the other day, and since I have to smoke outside I was faced with the tough decision of either unloading in my pants or leaving my smoke. I held off as long as I could but eventually went inside, only to return to find my stogie had extinguished itself. I am just curious as to how some others would go about this problem.

Just take it with you, if someone complains of the smoke go tell them to take a big wiff of the bathroom.

My girlfriend would barge in that's who. She has no concept whatsoever that a man is not to be distrubed while taking a dump. How am I supposed to reflect and ponder the days events with her bugging me the whole time? And then she'll complain about the smell. Are you retarded?!? I'm in here taking a shit! is what I tell her.

[hex1848]

I had a similar experience a couple of weeks back (true story). I like to take drives around the country side while smoking a nice cigar. It helps me clear my mind. I was out on one my drives in the middle of BFE smoking a tasty Bolivar and got one of those sudden, stomach churning, if you don't find a bathroom soon you might be in serious trouble feelings.

I looked around the cab of my pickup... nothing but an old cello laying on the floor board and a single yellow snotty Wendy’s napkin. No diving behind the nearest bush for me.

I floored the truck. I was sweating profusely, trying to keep my cheeks wedged together as best I could. I had roughly 10 miles back down the canopy road to my house with no gas stations in between... survival instinct kicked in.. I was not going to crap myself.

I somehow managed to make it back to the house in the nick of time. I made it, but needless to say, it totally ruined the smoke...

[brian]

I am sorry, but that's damn right funny.

(This didn't happen while smoking but it's sorta related) I was trout fishing with my brother-in-law when I had that same feeling. I went over into the woods and did my business but the leaves didn't work worth a darn. I thought he had when on up stream, so I walked over and bent down into the stream to wash myself. He was just a few feet above me and I heard "The heck are you doing?!" I thought that was a pretty funny experience.

[cinda]

.......survival instinct kicked in.. I was not going to crap myself.

[WhiteWidow]

[COLOR=black][COLOR=black][COLOR=black]
[COLOR=black]I floored the truck. I was sweating profusely, trying to keep my cheeks wedged together as best I could. I had roughly 10 miles back down the canopy road to my house with no gas stations in between... survival instinct kicked in.. I was not going to crap myself.

The trick is you have to clench the butthole as opposed to the cheeks. If you just clench the cheeks and the culprit makes its way past the butthole you've really just created a place for grossness and eventually skid marks to happen.

[guado]

Cigar smoking time is relaxation time. I make it a point to excrete all contents of said large intestine prior to firing up. I would honestly be pissed off if my body decided to have that type of urge while smoking. If that did happen for some odd reason I Would have to just purge the cigar, do the deed, knock the ash and relight. A very disturbing thought I wish never to have happen.

[cls515]

I'll just put it down and do my business. If I have to relight the cigar I never notice any problems because I wasn't gone for too long. Sometimes different flavors are present when I relight but sometimes it is for the better. I noticed the cigars only get stale after like an hour or more. I gave my friend a Monte #2 and he couldn't finish it. When he fired it back up maybe an hour or so later I tried it and it was pretty harsh.

[planenut]

I crack myself up... but this thread is better!

[cigar no baka]

I gotta say, I've never had that problem. But the next time I sit down to herf, I'm going to start things off by telling everyone to go pinch a loaf now if you gotta, cause we don't want to sit around smelling yer wet, nasty farts while you try to imprison that turd while all the gases leak out in protest! I'll either get the weirdest looks or the biggest laughs of the night.

[thepyrofish]

I'd like to formally ask permission to use this phrase.

Permission granted.

Shit, somehow I never read this before now...

I have a friend names 'J' and a friend named 'C'. J was in C's car, and can be a little immature at times. J tried to let a really big fart go...he wanted it to be loud so he pushed with all his might...
and shit his pants. In the car. I think they were eaither going out to the bar or to a movie, but either way I believe they were almost at their destination...

I can smoke in my house, so I'll just take it in the bathroom with me. My dad makes fun of me but I dun care.