Divorce

[CoventryCat86]

Have you actually started divorce proceedings yet? If you have, then dating someone AFTER the filing is irrelevant.

I don't know what to tell you, I've seen far worse like a 20+ year marriage, two kids, a co-owned business, a large house and lots of assets with a husband who was cheating for two years, wife found out, he agreed to stop seeing her, turns out he didn't, then three months later he moved out, she didn't fall apart but she was hurt very badly, husband comes back four days later and so far everything is fine and I think it will work.

I've got other similar stories but I'll spare you the details.

This Travis guy has got to be completely out of the picture if anything is to "work out" so.....

[Loudpipes78]

Have you actually started divorce proceedings yet? If you have, then dating someone AFTER the filing is irrelevant.

I don't know what to tell you, I've seen far worse like a 20+ year marriage, two kids, a co-owned business, a large house and lots of assets with a husband who was cheating for two years, wife found out, he agreed to stop seeing her, turns out he didn't, then three months later he moved out, she didn't fall apart but she was hurt very badly, husband comes back four days later and so far everything is fine and I think it will work.

I've got other similar stories but I'll spare you the details.

This Travis guy has got to be completely out of the picture if anything is to "work out" so.....

I am going to file in about 5 minutes. Start the ball rolling. I will get the paperwork for her to sign off on Wednesday when we see each other to deal with the Volkswagen.

There is nothing left to work out, it's done, I am not changing my mind or backing down now. She had her chance to remove the problem and she spent 2 more nights with him and fucked him and then said to my face that she chose HIM not ME. From that point on I finally knew what I had to do, move on with my own life. I don't have to worry about having to have someone meet me 1/2 way right now b/c it's me, myself, and I.

[CgarDan]

Mike, I think you are doing the right thing. And trust me when I say this, she slept with the guy long before that day when she admitted to it.

I have seen something very similar first hand. Unless you are ready to go through hell and take a chance at making the relationship work ( knowing that it might not happen ), you are doing exactly what you should.

In the long run you will be much better off

[nhcigarfan]

Nice thing about a clean break, uncontested divorce, is if she grovels, pleads and proves herself over time you could always date her again if you choose.

But then again, after you get the paperwork taken care of the and divorce is finalized, you can hit the gym for a few months, build up the confidence, feel good about yourself and then take the new, smoking hot - piece of ass - does it all with a smile girl, out to eat at your ex's workplace.

Because, you still want to be friends, right.

[cigar no baka]

Damn I can feel your pain. I've never been divorced but many of my friends have and my sister has been divorced twice. Sounds like you are better off without her, even with reconciliation you'd be wondering if she would ever do it again.

Just stay as calm as you can, let her go screw up her own life and get on with your own. The pain and anger will waste away eventually until they are a small nub. The best solution is to finalize things, get on with your life and not be bitter about the way things worked out. Don't let what she has done to get you and change you, because you deserve better than that.

[guado]

You've got your ducks in a row. You know what you need to do.

I got your back 100% as do a whole ass load of friends who are faithful to the person that has NOT been lying to everyone. You're doing hella better than I ever would.

~Eddie

[tampacigargirl]

I have to agree, you're making the right decision. I wish I would have taken your stand and just moved forward. I moved to FL so to help take care of his mother, He stayed where he was because he was in the Army. Almost a year and everything is fine. We've found a house we both like, start the mortgage process, he starts trying to get stationed hear for his last 2 years before he retires. One morning I get up to give him our morning phone call (we talked 2x's a day weekdays and 3x a day weekends) and I just knew. He was acting weird. I called him that night and he told me it was over. Refused to talk about it. There was someone else. Since I came to FL with nothing but what would fit in a little Subaru I had to go back and get my stuff from him.

Here's where I went stupid. I took him back. All I got was more heartache and grief. And in the end lost all the possessions I had because when he was transfered to Maine he took everything except some junk he didn't want.

Grieve, take VERY good care of yourself, and move on. I'm glad you have alot support. I didn't really know anyone here, I hadn't been here very long and was working 2 jobs.

You have a lot of sympathy and support. Bad things happen, and we can only learn by it.

[cigarsarge]

Glad you stood your ground. Life is too short to be miserable. It seems that she fucked up...Not you. Keep that in mind.

Try not to lean on the booze too hard. It helps a little but it also clouds judgement...Something you will be needing.

You gave it all you had. Hold your head up. You deserve a happy life.

[cinda]

Nice thing about a clean break, uncontested divorce, is if she grovels, pleads and proves herself over time you could always date her again if you choose.

But then again, after you get the paperwork taken care of the and divorce is finalized, you can hit the gym for a few months, build up the confidence, feel good about yourself and then take the new, smoking hot - piece of ass - does it all with a smile girl, out to eat at your ex's workplace.

Because, you still want to be friends, right.

This is the best! but I am still reading ......oh and I will add here I would have kept the life insurance on her especially if your paying a minimal amount. How can you lose?

[Loudpipes78]

This is the best! but I am still reading ......oh and I will add here I would have kept the life insurance on her especially if your paying a minimal amount. How can you lose?

I pondered keeping the life insurance policy on her but if she thought about it and changed the beneficiary without me knowing it would be pointless.

January 23rd will most likely be our only court date and that will be that. The current over under line on how long it will take is 15 minutes.

I know CT is different b/c I have a co-worker going through a divorce up there and she can't believe my marriage is going to be over before hers and they've been working on the divorce for almost 5 months.

Trying to make the best out of the cards I've been dealt and go from there.

[CoventryCat86]

I pondered keeping the life insurance policy on her but if she thought about it and changed the beneficiary without me knowing it would be pointless.

January 23rd will most likely be our only court date and that will be that. The current over under line on how long it will take is 15 minutes.

I know CT is different b/c I have a co-worker going through a divorce up there and she can't believe my marriage is going to be over before hers and they've been working on the divorce for almost 5 months.

Trying to make the best out of the cards I've been dealt and go from there.

Yep, I shoulda known our f*cked up state is worse than Florida. I suppose I can see the logic behind the "waiting period" but I really wonder what the statistics are on that, meaning that what percentage of the divorces actually were called off due to a "cooling off" period. My guess is it would be around 5% meaning that why bother?

[cinda]

Yep, I should known our f*cked up state is worse than Florida. I suppose I can see the logic behind the "waiting period" but I really wonder what the statistics are on that, meaning that what percentage of the divorces actually were called off due to a "cooling off" period. My guess is it would be around 5% meaning that why bother?

What the cooling off period really does is gives people a chance to remember all the reason why they want the divorce. All the reason why their the injured party and enough time to form a camp, get a lawyer and begin the war. A year later find themselves in the middle of a trial because one or both parties doesn't feel that rotating the child among the holidays every other year is fair. End result kids are rotated between mom and dad and the lawyers fee's just for the trial would put the child though the first year of a really nice college. Bottom line you drive the bus during the divorce and you have a choice to drive it right off a cliff if you choose. You can decide to put your kids though college or your lawyers children though college. Some times the last word is not about getting the china it is about getting out of the judicial system with your self respect and your bank account. Lastly and most importantly for all who have children it is getting though a divorce with your children's mental health in tact. Adult problems should never be children's problems.

[Cabaiguan Juan]

January 23rd will most likely be our only court date and that will be that. The current over under line on how long it will take is 15 minutes.

I pick over, but not by much. I'm guessing 25 minutes and its done.

[nhcigarfan]

The current over under line on how long it will take is 15 minutes.

If this includes waiting for your case to be called, then I take the over. If this is just from when the clerk calls your case until the Judge says your done. I'll take the under.

[BunkyX]

LP
Take from a man who has been through it four times, It gets better. I have a philosphy about the hard shit we go through and it simply is - This too shall pass. I feel for you man, it is never easy to lose the one you have loved for so many years. Take it from a pro, do what you got to do, walk away and do not look back. Do not waste time thinking about what could have been, instead concentrate on what will be. Good luck bro'

[Cabaiguan Juan]

What the cooling off period really does is gives people a chance to remember all the reason why they want the divorce. All the reason why their the injured party and enough time to form a camp, get a lawyer and begin the war. A year later find themselves in the middle of a trial because one or both parties doesn't feel that rotating the child among the holidays every other year is fair. End result kids are rotated between mom and dad and the lawyers fee's just for the trial would put the child though the first year of a really nice college. Bottom line you drive the bus during the divorce and you have a choice to drive it right off a cliff if you choose. You can decide to put your kids though college or your lawyers children though college. Some times the last word is not about getting the china it is about getting out of the judicial system with your self respect and your bank account. Lastly and most importantly for all who have children it is getting though a divorce with your children's mental health in tact. Adult problems should never be children's problems.

-Amen to that sistah, .

If this includes waiting for your case to be called, then I take the over. If this is just from when the clerk calls your case until the Judge says your done. I'll take the under.

-to clairify, i taking over from when he gets called from the clerk.