Irish79! Quit messing around and come talk to Santa

[Secret Santa]

Now, last year I had a very bad experience at an Irish household. The reindeer were totally clustered all night. Blitzen was blitzed and Dancer & Prancer... well nevermind, and Mrs. Claus kept texting me with messages too long to fit into one message. And then... I come to the Murphy residence only to find out that they closed their frickin chimney flue, so I had to go in through the window. Now, in normal homes, this is no problem, but for some strange reason, you Irish think it is funny to put a lit candle there! WTF!?! I burned my pants off and got the cops called on me for running down the street naked / on fire!

But I am sure I can trust you to NOT set up any Santa traps, right?

So, the current items I have slated for your new home are a Philly Blunt and a half-eaten jar of peanut butter... but since the elves told me that you have been a decent husband thus far, I will allow you to request a special holiday drink and a stick of your choice to accompany that fine blunt.

I know you Irish are really only interested in things if you can either drink it, or punch it...

Ho Ho Ho!!!
S. Claus

[Irish79]

Dear Santa,

Please don't hold your experience with another Irish household against me.. I know the Murphy's and Steve is usually a pleasant enough chap, unless he hits the Bushmills too hard. And his wife Sue just loves old fashioned candles. Traditionalists. But Santa, you didn't help yourself when you passed gas coming in the window...

I promise not to set any Santa traps this year, but I still have images etched in my mind of your pasty white, wrinkled & pimply arse w/ a "Vixen was here" tat from when I was young and you thought it would be funny to moon me while I was asleep. Therapy was worth it though.

I love peanut butter, so one out of two ain't bad. As for the smoke, I'll let you surprise me. For the holiday beverage, I have been on a bourbon kick recently. But I trust your judgement as to whatever will best complement the blunt.

Thanks Santa!
Irish79

[Secret Santa]

you didn't help yourself when you passed gas coming in the window

When you are my age these things happen...

your pasty white, wrinkled & pimply arse w/ a "Vixen was here" tat

Dangit Irish, Mrs. Claus reads these posts you know! I don’t have a great comeback for this one so I will just fall back on the standard: That wasn’t me, that was your mom!

Ho Ho Ho!
S. Claus

[Irish79]

Santa,

Thank you for great bottle of bourbon that I received over the weekend. I'm looking forward to imbibing tomorrow night with one of the great sticks that you sent me.

Just a note that while this exchange took a little while to complete due to some bad luck with shipping, communication was kept up throughout the entire process and everything worked out in the end. Santa was willing to expedite packages, but I was okay with waiting until we knew what happened so that he did not have to incur additional shipping charges. One package was destroyed by the post office and a second package completely disappeared, but other three packages arrived to complete my 2009 Christmas. Thank you Santa! I'm already looking forward to SS 2010.

[Secret Santa]

Well it is about flipping time! I knew I should have sent the package old school reindeer style. Glad it finally made it to your door, next year I'm just going to send an empty bottle with instructions oh how to make your own!

I hope those punks at the post office enjoyed their Christmas, smoking Irish's sticks and drinking his bourbon - grrr.

Merry err... Happy Easter!
S. Claus

[mail man]

Well it is about flipping time! I knew I should have sent the package old school reindeer style. Glad it finally made it to your door, next year I'm just going to send an empty bottle with instructions oh how to make your own!

I hope those punks at the post office enjoyed their Christmas, smoking Irish's sticks and drinking his bourbon - grrr.Merry err... Happy Easter!
S. Claus

I didn't do it, I swear.