CigarSmokers is a treasure chest - you have to unlock it
Otherwise you'll be smoking nothing but dog rockets.
But for your own sake, don't come here acting like a noob
Or you'll get shipped off like Elián in an innertube.
Failing to use simple things like the search function
Will get you cut up like ham at a luncheon.
Talking shit about other members, or just even hintin'
Will get you ridiculed like Hillary Clinton.
Your bad rep will grow
Like Pinocchio's nose
And we'll show you where to stick those glass-top Esplendidos.